Parents Need to share, what the heck just happened?

[Amusibus]

Ok, so here is what happened tonight. My 6 year old daughter is on a pre-team. Her practices are 3 hours long. She as a medical condition called carnitine deficiency, where her body is unable to burn fat for energy, meaning she needs to eat small amounts frequently, even during practice, or her blood sugar bottoms out. The coaches are aware of this and allow small snacks on her breaks. Tonight she comes out in tears, saying head coach took my food away. I hear ths and I am livid. The issue head coach had with her food was that it was potato chips. Gymnasts are not supposed to eat junk food, so it's ok to seize it. Even though she ate fruit, veggies, and peanut butter in the car on the way there. Even though she has a medical condition and this is the only thing to eat in her bag. Ok, chips are not healthy, I get it, but this is the only time she has ever brought them, I had very little else in my cabinet as I need to food shop, and she would only have eaten a few, just to keep her sugar up. She is tiny and underweight, it's not like she eats junk all the time. I feel violated, like I leave my kid with you for 9 hours a week, you ask me to leave and not watch practice, then you don't take care of her??? I feel like it is not a safe place for her anymore. Thoughts?

 

[JBS]

Just talk to her coach. The coach probably just messed up.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

I as a mom, understand your anger, but the coach maybe doesnt understand or realize the seriousness of her condition. Just talk to them. See what is said before you go looking for another gym. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Just talk to her coach. The coach probably just messed up.

this is exactly what happened. and if he/she understood the condition, which was you and your Dr.'s responsibility, he/she would have known that potato chips may be junk food, but it is food nonetheless and is a starch that can be metabolized for your daughter's condition. so then, not junk food for her!

we as coaches can't know everything. sometimes we need your help.

 

[JessLW]

I can totally understand why you're livid. I think I would be too! But I agree that you need to go in there and talk to the coach and explain how serious this is. Tell him/her everything you just told us here, calmly, and make it clear that this is what she needs to stay safe, and that if they can't accomodate this need, then you need to look elsewhere.

Something also rubs me the wrong way about the whole "gymnasts don't eat junk food" thing from the coach (and to the point of taking the food away from the kid!), but maybe I'm just feeling touchy on your DD's behalf. Surely healthy eating is the way to go and chips are not great for you, but that applies to everyone, not just gymnasts. I don't like the "gymnasts don't eat ____" talk, as it seems a bit of a slippery slope ...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

"healthy eating" has been taken a bit to far in my humble opinion. truth be told, the best of the best of them eat mcdonalds, and ice cream, and well hell...pizza and beer in college. seems to help their yurchenkos and double layouts on floor...

 

[GymBee97]

I understand your frustration but just talk to the coach again (be calm) and re emphasize the importance of her eating. Then to help with the healthy part don't worry about being late to practice stop at the grocery store or where ever and get the food you would prefer your DD to have instead of what is left in the cabinet. Alot of gas station variety stores have lots of better choices too. But start with talking to the coaches again.

 

[wallinbl]

"healthy eating" has been taken a bit to far in my humble opinion. truth be told, the best of the best of them eat mcdonalds, and ice cream, and well hell...pizza and beer in college. seems to help their yurchenkos and double layouts on floor...

You know what Usain Bolt eats when he's out of town at track meets? McDonald's chicken nuggets. My wife's big on the health food thing and I love pointing out that he goes to McDonalds leading up to meets.

 

[mado4]

Well I have to say this is a tricky situation…if I was the coach I would have not taken away her chips but would have been extremely upset with the parent. Even if she has a medical condition it does not mean she can have junk food during practice.Just think about how the other kids feel if your daughter sits there and eats chips ! And even if Usain Bolt does it it doesn't mean he will live a long life !!! There are just some things that don't work ..sorry...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

everything in moderation...this includes junk food.

 

[mommyof1]

Seems like he could have just sent home a note instead of confiscating the chips. Who would really want to deal with a hungry, cranky kid for the rest of practice?

But definitely talk to the coach. Anyone who is coaching your daughter should know about her health issues.

 

[iwannacoach]

I agree your dd has a medical condition that requires people to think outside the box, but sending potato chips is unfair to your dd teammates, and her coach. You are asking the coach to implicitly endorse potato chips as a gym snack or have a sit down with the rest of the kids to explain why your dd gets to have what is otherwise forbidden.

I understand the passion you have for seeing that your dd gets what's medically neccessary. I have two kids that require special considerations as well, but it's unfair to expect the coach knows everything....like you hadn't been able to go food shopping, and that there was no other food like bread, crackers, fruit or carb loaded vegetables such as tomatoes, or even some dry breakfast cereal.


I agree with all others who feel it was wrong to take the chips away from your daughter, but the team is the coach's little baby, and you imposed your bare pantry and shopping problems on him/her.

 

[Amusibus]

iwannacoach, she is on a wheat-free,dairy-free diet. she ate the avocadoes, pears, and peanut butter in the car on the way to practice. the chips were the reward, and to ensure she justgot a few calories. no one ever told uschips were forbidden, i knowwhat is healthy and what isnot as i have my masters in nutrition, but everything in moderation. she crossed the line.

 

[sglemon]

Honestly, I would drop it. Take it as a lesson learned. Next time if you find yourself in that situation, leave the house a few minutes earlier or arrive a little late for practice, stop at the market, in order in ensure your Dd has the right nutritious foods for her condition. Potato chips are a nutritious void and will not do much to raise her blood sugar immediately, like fruits will do. Reality is, not everyone will understand or make the accomodations needed for her in the real world. Use it as a learning experience for her on how to manage her situation, on her own. She is not too young to learn.

 

[iwannacoach]

Just to give you as much perspective as possible without.......

There are a lot of coaches who work for years to build a team program.....for their own benifit, and to provide opportunities for children to go beyond the ordinary. It takes hard work and sacrifice to get to that point, and many parents fail to recognize they are the benificiaries of the coach's dreams for themselves and their gymnasts. I've listened patiently to parents who tell me that those sacrifices are my choice and the problems that come with my choices are mine....and they're right, but are mistaken in the belief that I own every challenge and problem that comes through the door each day, because we are all in this together.

You feel that the coach crossed the line, and I agree that confiscating something, especially food, is wrong and in the case of food can send the wrong message. At the same time, it feels that you are expecting the coach to know a few things about your situation, and it would be a good idea for the two of you to get together to establish what is and not allowed both ways. You may find the coach very receptive to all accommodations with the exception of a short list of junk food and candy, which is probably the next thing the coach had in mind........like geez, what's this kid going to show up with next, a box of Mike & Ike's.

To some people, chips are an obvious no-no for a gym snack, while others view them as a supply of calories needed to get through the next 90 minutes. Share what you know about your dd and nutrition, as well as your assurances that there will be boundaries to to the exceptions, and that questionable snacks will only be sent as a "last resort".

Just one more thought......next time have her eat the chips in the car, and save the "healthy" stuff for use in the gym.

 

[wallflower]

Well I have to say this is a tricky situation…if I was the coach I would have not taken away her chips but would have been extremely upset with the parent. Even if she has a medical condition it does not mean she can have junk food during practice.Just think about how the other kids feel if your daughter sits there and eats chips ! And even if Usain Bolt does it it doesn't mean he will live a long life !!! There are just some things that don't work ..sorry...

"Extremely upset" is a little extreme don't you think? Personally I think it is my choice what my kid eats. Would I send her with a candy bar and a Dr Pepper to eat in the middle of practice? No, but chips aren't that bad. Sometimes we have busy lives and if chips or $1.00 for the vending machine is all I have at that moment and my child has to have a snack, then that's okay. A bag of chips aren't going to kill you. A lot of foods that are marketed as healthy are really not any healthier than a snack size bag of chips.

 

[wallflower]

Unless I'm reading the OP incorrectly, the coaches are AWARE of her medical condition. Maybe it needs to be explained to them again, but it says that are aware.

 

[gym law mom]

To the OP, this should not have happened if everyone at the gym was truly aware of your dd's condition. I would print out something explaining what her condition is and the need for snacks and what will happen if she does not eat frequently. Ok, the chips not being healthy has been beaten to death. Yes, she could have had something "healthier", but taking food away was a bit over the top especially with a 6 yo.
I would hand them the information and also talk with the HC and your dd's coach again to make sure everyone really does understand her needs.

 

[Quadqueen]

I agree with Dunno...everything in moderation. The fact that they took food away from her - any food - is a red flag to me about this gym in general.

 

[Amusibus]

Wallflower, like, like, like. It is, after all, MY kid. And yes, they were aware.