Parents Normal?

[wallinbl]

Depends a lot on why the family chose to leave and what they said. Moving out of town? Feel free to come to banquet. Outgrown/outleveled a compulsory gym? Feel free to come to banquet. Feel the other gym is better coached or has a less toxic environment? You can see why the coaches and owners might not feel like celebrating you after you called them inferior or toxic. You still have an anniversary dinner with your girl/boyfriend after your breakup? Nope.

Now, the idea that parents and kids won't communicate if people don't come to banquet, that's just silly. Of course they will.

 

[Really]

Depends a lot on why the family chose to leave and what they said. Moving out of town? Feel free to come to banquet. Outgrown/outleveled a compulsory gym? Feel free to come to banquet. Feel the other gym is better coached or has a less toxic environment? You can see why the coaches and owners might not feel like celebrating you after you called them inferior or toxic. You still have an anniversary dinner with your girl/boyfriend after your breakup? Nope.

Now, the idea that parents and kids won't communicate if people don't come to banquet, that's just silly. Of course they will.

I'm the original poster. Wallinbl, you might be responding just in general, to any gymnast in any situation who got un-invited to the end of year banquet. But if you read my posts, you'd see that in my situation it was two gymnasts who got uninvited. One because she was only offered a spot on our gym's Xcel team, and she was leaving for another gym who had a JO spot for her. The other was a similar situation, but it was that her sibling was offered only Xcel and both sibs wanted JO.

My personal take is that it would have served the gym well to take the high road, and say to the families, "We're sorry we don't have enough JO spots for your kids now, but if it doesn't work out for you folks at the gyms you are moving to and we have spots that open up on our JO teams in the future, your kids are welcome to try out here with us again. We will continue to root for you kids when we see you at meets in the future." Graciousness costs nothing and reveals a strength of character. Frankly, we could all do with so much more of it in our lives.

 

[gymnastics24.7]

We had 2 girls quit and go to cheer. One showed up at the banquet, and it was really awkward! No one knew she was coming, the coach didn't even know!

 

[wallinbl]

I'm the original poster. Wallinbl, you might be responding just in general, to any gymnast in any situation who got un-invited to the end of year banquet. But if you read my posts, you'd see that in my situation it was two gymnasts who got uninvited. One because she was only offered a spot on our gym's Xcel team, and she was leaving for another gym who had a JO spot for her. The other was a similar situation, but it was that her sibling was offered only Xcel and both sibs wanted JO.

My personal take is that it would have served the gym well to take the high road, and say to the families, "We're sorry we don't have enough JO spots for your kids now, but if it doesn't work out for you folks at the gyms you are moving to and we have spots that open up on our JO teams in the future, your kids are welcome to try out here with us again. We will continue to root for you kids when we see you at meets in the future." Graciousness costs nothing and reveals a strength of character. Frankly, we could all do with so much more of it in our lives.

Sure, it's better to take the high road. We actually switched to our current gym once, DD panicked, and we returned to our original gym. They sent us a really nice letter and refunded all of our money, saying come back any time. A year later, DD was more comfortable, and we've been there ever since.

But, my point was that we don't really know what the families said in those conversations where they left. Were they simply saying, "hey, she really wants to do JO, and this is a chance for her to do that" or did they go CGM and say "at least the other gym can see her true talent"? My examples were a little more extreme because it's easier to illustrate the point. Absent having been present for the conversation, it's hard to say what really happened or who is "wrong".

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My personal take is that it would have served the gym well to take the high road, and say to the families, "We're sorry we don't have enough JO spots for your kids now, but if it doesn't work out for you folks at the gyms you are moving to and we have spots that open up on our JO teams in the future, your kids are welcome to try out here with us again. We will continue to root for you kids when we see you at meets in the future." Graciousness costs nothing and reveals a strength of character. Frankly, we could all do with so much more of it in our lives.

Of course graciousness is lovely. And you really don't know that the gym didn't say all of that.

And they didn't get "uninvited".

They left. Then they were informed the party is for team.

It could of went like this.......Gee we are sorry to see you leave. We liked having child A here. If it doesn't work out we would be happy to have your child(ren) back. Unfortunately we have a policy that the team party is only for current team members. We will of course be refunding your money. Enjoy your summer.....

We have a girl who left team to do a different sport but practiced with team. She will be back on team next year. She is back at all practices. She is not coming to the party this year. The party is for team.

 

[John]

I don't think there is a right or wrong here. Both options lend themselves to awkwardness. My mother always says "Life is Not Fair", gymnastics teaches us all that lesson. DD just changed gyms but from IGC to JO. (The old gym says she is welcome back. I have learned the old gym has decided to go JO since we left.) The new gym gave us a deadline for joining. The reasons behind the deadline were all 100% legitimate. She was invited and attended the new gyms end of year banquet. She got no awards but earned no rewards either, she is 10 and fully understood. Attending helped her become part of the new team. These gym girls take to one another very quickly, I guess it's the like minds and desires. Just hope the girls that moved have found a new gym family they like and everything will be fine.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

She was invited and attended the new gyms end of year banquet. She got no awards but earned no rewards either, she is 10 and fully understood. Attending helped her become part of the new team.

Joining is different then leaving. To use the previous analogy of a relationship.

Your daughter is the new date, of course you invite her. When you leave, you broke up, so no you don't go out anymore.

 

[John]

Oh agreed. No easy answer either way.