Parents Not sure what to do...

[Star078]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting. My DD is a level 5 gymnast. She is quite talented but is on the older end of the age group at 12. She lives and breathes gymnastics. She has always loved going to gym and has always loved her coaches. She works extremely hard and generally places at competitions. She is in her second year with the same coach and this year the coach has become extremely negative with DD to the point where my DD thinks she isn’t good at gymnastics anymore which is crazy. The coach favours certain kids and it is very obvious that she is doing it. She used to do that to DD but this year a number of girls have left and it seems to be my DDs turn to be at the bottom. It isn’t a healthy environment and I have now made an official complaint. My issue is she is going to have the same coach next year as it’s a small
Gym and the next closest competitive gym is 2 hours away. I really don’t want to expose my DD to this coaching style anymore as she is currently refusing to go back but I’m not sure changing gyms is realistic.

 

[raenndrops]

Are there any YMCA gym programs closer than the gym 2 hours away.
If so, a lot of girls in her situation thrive in the YMCA environment. We currently have several girls on our Y team that came from a club gym program ... and the gyms we compete against (in an area that has at least 5 club programs within driving distance of 1 hour) have even more girls that switched from club gyms.

 

[stillhoping]

If your only options are an abusive coach or a two hour drive, I would explore other sports. Honestly, gymnasts are amazing athletes. Why would she have the same coach next year? Could she work out with the level 7s that maybe have a different coach? Could she try diving, or dance, or swimming, or rock climbing, or something else?

 

[bogwoppit]

If your choice is gymnastics with a coach who does not care for your child, and makes her miserable, or no gym, then I would go with no gym.

If your child excels at gymnastics she will excel in other sports too. This is one of the biggest issues I have with abuse in gyms, parents keeping their kids in negative coaching situations because they feel they have no other choice.

In the end for 95% of kids gymnastics is just a sport they do until high school, they can do other things just as well.

 

[Star078]

Thanks for your replies everyone. She has a few other talents we could explore further and that’s the way we are leaning. First we are going to try meeting with the coach and then I will watch class for a while and I’ll make sure she has her phone with her. If it continues in any way at all after the meeting we will reassess. We are in a country town so there really isn’t another option around us. One possibility might be joining the club 2 hours a way and training twice a week with them and also continuing to train with a different level group at our current gym once or twice a week but competing for the other club or looking into dancing or acrobatics which she is quite good at. It’s a pitty it has to end this way though. Leaving her in the current situation as it stands isn’t an option though.

 

[Gymcoach93821]

Have you gone into the class and watch your dd and the coaches interactions with each other. There may be a reason why this has started to happen. Coming into teen years and/or the coach going through something outside of the gym. Or anything could be happening. A meeting with the coach to talk about it would be the best first step. You might find the coach has no idea the affects she is having on your dd and/or your dds training mentality has changed. I’d deffinatly go inside the gym and watch a session to see what they are like and also have a meeting. Then if it is exactly what you think then look at moving as 2 hours is a huge move to travel if it is something that can be communicated about

 

[Gymcoach93821]

She is in her second year with the same coach and this year the coach has become extremely negative with DD to the point where my DD thinks she isn’t good at gymnastics anymore which is crazy. The coach favours certain kids and it is very obvious that she is doing it. She used to do that to DD but this year a number of girls have left and it seems to be my DDs turn to be at the bottom. It isn’t a healthy environment and I have now made an official complaint

All I am trying to get at is if u did not have an issue when the coach was coaching her in the first year when you knew the coach favoured people and then when the people who she “picked on” left which then lead to your dd now being picked on, now you are not happy. There has to of been some sort of change. If you knew the coach favoured kids and u were fine with it until your child was the one who was picked on you should have brought it up prior when you knew there was favouritism involved. Whether it’s your child getting favoured more than others or not. the Other side of it is that she is trying to light a fire under ur dd but isn’t doing it the right way. Some kids thrive under competition and pressure and want to prove themselves and some children don’t. Different ways of coaching and it seems the way ur dd is trying to motivate her gymnasts isn’t the best. But if parents can see she favours gymnasts this needs to be raised

 

[Star078]

Have you gone into the class and watch your dd and the coaches interactions with each other. There may be a reason why this has started to happen. Coming into teen years and/or the coach going through something outside of the gym. Or anything could be happening. A meeting with the coach to talk about it would be the best first step. You might find the coach has no idea the affects she is having on your dd and/or your dds training mentality has changed. I’d deffinatly go inside the gym and watch a session to see what they are like and also have a meeting. Then if it is exactly what you think then look at moving as 2 hours is a huge move to travel if it is something that can be communicated about

I’m actually work there myself but not the competitive program so I have seen it and heard it and sometimes feel like she is doing it deliberately because I am there to hear it. I tried staying away a bit more but that hasn’t really helped either.

 

[Star078]

She is in her second year with the same coach and this year the coach has become extremely negative with DD to the point where my DD thinks she isn’t good at gymnastics anymore which is crazy. The coach favours certain kids and it is very obvious that she is doing it. She used to do that to DD but this year a number of girls have left and it seems to be my DDs turn to be at the bottom. It isn’t a healthy environment and I have now made an official complaint

All I am trying to get at is if u did not have an issue when the coach was coaching her in the first year when you knew the coach favoured people and then when the people who she “picked on” left which then lead to your dd now being picked on, now you are not happy. There has to of been some sort of change. If you knew the coach favoured kids and u were fine with it until your child was the one who was picked on you should have brought it up prior when you knew there was favouritism involved. Whether it’s your child getting favoured more than others or not. the Other side of it is that she is trying to light a fire under ur dd but isn’t doing it the right way. Some kids thrive under competition and pressure and want to prove themselves and some children don’t. Different ways of coaching and it seems the way ur dd is trying to motivate her gymnasts isn’t the best. But if parents can see she favours gymnasts this needs to be raised

Last year when I knew it was happening to others I did say something along with others. The gym is aware there is an issue.

 

[bogwoppit]

She is in her second year with the same coach and this year the coach has become extremely negative with DD to the point where my DD thinks she isn’t good at gymnastics anymore which is crazy. The coach favours certain kids and it is very obvious that she is doing it. She used to do that to DD but this year a number of girls have left and it seems to be my DDs turn to be at the bottom. It isn’t a healthy environment and I have now made an official complaint

All I am trying to get at is if u did not have an issue when the coach was coaching her in the first year when you knew the coach favoured people and then when the people who she “picked on” left which then lead to your dd now being picked on, now you are not happy. There has to of been some sort of change. If you knew the coach favoured kids and u were fine with it until your child was the one who was picked on you should have brought it up prior when you knew there was favouritism involved. Whether it’s your child getting favoured more than others or not. the Other side of it is that she is trying to light a fire under ur dd but isn’t doing it the right way. Some kids thrive under competition and pressure and want to prove themselves and some children don’t. Different ways of coaching and it seems the way ur dd is trying to motivate her gymnasts isn’t the best. But if parents can see she favours gymnasts this needs to be raised

Just a little reminder that we do not use text speak here. Can you use full words in future please. This helps our older generation and people who's first language is not English.