Parents Sacrificing other activities

[jessifrostR]

What has your gymnast had to sacrifice for gymnastics?

This sport is obviously very time consuming but this is my daughter's first year competing and I want her to continue to stay involved in other things but I already feel like she has given up a lot for gymnastics.

I was coleading her girl scout troop but I just told the leader we both have to pull out of girl scouts because of gymnastics. Of course she doesnt "get it".. She thinks "why she cant she just miss practice once every other week?" . And now with cookie booths on the weekends during meet season, its just too much. Not to mention I have a new baby at home and I work and commute. Its a lot on me as well.

My daughter was sad when I told her she couldn't do both school swim team and gymnastics team this year..and she was sad this morning when I told her about girl scouts..but its always been her choice 100% and she even told me has gotten much closer to her team mates than her other friends.

How do you help your gymnast find balance in life with such an all consuming sport like gymnastics? Or is that not even possible? Is it all or nothing?
I think I'm more phased by this than she is but I would like that she has other interests, but it seems like all she thinks about is gym.

 

[l.c.o]

Well. First, it helps to not look at it as “sacrificing” things for gymnastics. Look at it as actively choosing to participate in gymnastics.

My own DD has had to choose attending gymnastics practices over Girl Scouts (I was also the leader), cheer, and school activities.

Try to find things that interest her that work around gymnastics. Give her those experiences now as her gymnastics schedule will only get more intense as she progresses.

Your DD may not be able to compete on swim team, but she can go to the pool. She maybe can’t attend all Girl Scout meetings, but maybe she could attend some of the events. Those don’t have to be as all-or-nothing. There are definitely options out there that can work with a gymnastics schedule. Good luck.

 

[jessifrostR]

Well. First, it helps to not look at it as “sacrificing” things for gymnastics. Look at it as actively choosing to participate in gymnastics.

My own DD has had to choose attending gymnastics practices over Girl Scouts (I was also the leader), cheer, and school activities.

Try to find things that interest her that work around gymnastics. Give her those experiences now as her gymnastics schedule will only get more intense as she progresses.

Your DD may not be able to compete on swim team, but she can go to the pool. She maybe can’t attend all Girl Scout meetings, but maybe she could attend some of the events. Those don’t have to be as all-or-nothing. There are definitely options out there that can work with a gymnastics schedule.

Thanks for putting this in a positive light! It is difficult to commit to multiple things but I don't want to burn her out. I want her to just enjoy some unstructured free time outside of school and gym! But still have lots of other experiences as well.

And I felt like I had to post here becaise its hard when it seems like other people don't understand the time and commitment required.
The troop leader just announced on facebook that we are leaving the troop and she said (sarcastically I'm sure) "We wish Avery luck on her path to be an Olympian."
Like really..

 

[raenndrops]

We have team girls that do girl scouts, cheerleading (all the way up to varsity and HS Competition cheer), church youth groups, 4-H and FFA, volleyball, track, softball, etc.
The scouts are in a troop that meets when team isn't practicing (right after school 1 day a week). One of the moms is the leader and she can adjust the schedule as needed. Cookie sales booths are scheduled for convenient and inconvenient times for the team girls. There are other girls in the troop too and they do some of the booths without the team girls. Lol, the team girls have jokingly mentioned having a booth at the home meet... too bad it would eat into our concession stand profits.

 

[LGnyc]

DD decided that she'd rather commit herself to gym and didn't do swim team, only dances sporadically, and didn't continue with soccer. And that was great for a long time. Now she's almost 12 and curious about dance. We are looking at her schedule for the summer and next year to see if she can shift the balance. Point being, whatever happens now may change down the road. And it's all good.

 

[gymnastmom05]

I was so worried about my DD focusing solely on gymnastics. She did gym, soccer, dance and Brownies when she was 6. At 7, she decided she didn't love dance so she stopped. The next year, she decided she was done with Brownies as the meetings were during her practice time. She did soccer until the practices overlapped (at age 8). Each time, I hated her having to make a choice so young but I made sure it was her choice. She did rec indoor soccer with girls from her previous team a few years which was nice because she could still have fun. They didn't have practice, just a game once a week. When she got to 4th grade, more options for clubs to join opened up for her at school. She loaded up! It was nice but I think she learned a valuable lesson. Her plate was too full. She scaled back a lot in 5th grade and only stuck with a few clubs. Now she's in middle school and I still worry about her and having "all her eggs in one basket" but it has been her choice and I saw her face during her competition this weekend. The confidence she had and the satisfaction coming from her. She's doing exactly what she wants to be doing. I have to find peace with it myself, because it's not bothering her one tiny bit!

 

[jessifrostR]

I was so worried about my DD focusing solely on gymnastics. She did gym, soccer, dance and Brownies when she was 6. At 7, she decided she didn't love dance so she stopped. The next year, she decided she was done with Brownies as the meetings were during her practice time. She did soccer until the practices overlapped (at age 8). Each time, I hated her having to make a choice so young but I made sure it was her choice. She did rec indoor soccer with girls from her previous team a few years which was nice because she could still have fun. They didn't have practice, just a game once a week. When she got to 4th grade, more options for clubs to join opened up for her at school. She loaded up! It was nice but I think she learned a valuable lesson. Her plate was too full. She scaled back a lot in 5th grade and only stuck with a few clubs. Now she's in middle school and I still worry about her and having "all her eggs in one basket" but it has been her choice and I saw her face during her competition this weekend. The confidence she had and the satisfaction coming from her. She's doing exactly what she wants to be doing. I have to find peace with it myself, because it's not bothering her one tiny bit!

This is exactly how I feel with "all the eggs in one basket". I don't want her so focused on gym that if she were to lose it due to an injury or something, she wouldn't feel like she had anything else. But nothing she has ever done, no girl scout activity, dance recital, or swim meet has ever given my daughter the beaming smile of pride that she had during the awards after her first gymnastics meet, so I like to think she is capable of choosing where she wants to devote her time and energy..

 

[lhmom]

When mine started out at age 6, we fit in other sports that were on a rec level (practice once a week, games on Saturday). She actually played soccer and basketball for several years since she was going 3 days a week to gym. It was only when she moved to optionals (5 days a week) that gymnastics took over. She quit a few years ago at age 12 because she wanted to be more involved in school sports. I have to say that I was really glad that she got opportunities early on. I really think it made her transition out of gymnastics much easier.

 

[gymnastmom05]

This is exactly how I feel with "all the eggs in one basket". I don't want her so focused on gym that if she were to lose it due to an injury or something, she wouldn't feel like she had anything else. But nothing she has ever done, no girl scout activity, dance recital, or swim meet has ever given my daughter the beaming smile of pride that she had during the awards after her first gymnastics meet, so I like to think she is capable of choosing where she wants to devote her time and energy..

Exactly! She WILL be devastated if there is ever an injury that prevents her from continuing in gymnastics. I will always worry about her and her choice but gymnastics is her passion. Many people search for their passion and never find it. As long as it's her choice, I will continue to let her pick gym over everything else (minus school).

 

[jessifrostR]

Exactly! She WILL be devastated if there is ever an injury that prevents her from continuing in gymnastics. I will always worry about her and her choice but gymnastics is her passion. Many people search for their passion and never find it. As long as it's her choice, I will continue to let her pick gym over everything else (minus school).

Very true. These kids are blessed to have the talent, the passion, and the opportunity to participate in the sport. So many people never find anything that gives them that fire inside.

 

[jessifrostR]

When mine started out at age 6, we fit in other sports that were on a rec level (practice once a week, games on Saturday). She actually played soccer and basketball for several years since she was going 3 days a week to gym. It was only when she moved to optionals (5 days a week) that gymnastics took over. She quit a few years ago at age 12 because she wanted to be more involved in school sports. I have to say that I was really glad that she got opportunities early on. I really think it made her transition out of gymnastics much easier.

Our gym does 5 days/week (14.5) hours starting at level 3. I think 3 days/week would be easier. I just feel like gymnastics alone puts enough stress on their bodies without other sports added to the mix! Not even counting all the hours she spends practicing at home, which for the life of me I can't seem to put a stop to.

 

[amiandjim]

Our gym does 5 days/week (14.5) hours starting at level 3. I think 3 days/week would be easier. I just feel like gymnastics alone puts enough stress on their bodies without other sports added to the mix! Not even counting all the hours she spends practicing at home, which for the life of me I can't seem to put a stop to.

That’s a lot for level 3! I don’t know of any gyms in our area that do more than 9 hours at that level (unless some of it is TOPS and such).

 

[2gymkids]

Honestly, we deliberately kept her at a low hour gym until she was 10 (we were moving anyway and moving to a more competitive state so an increase at that point was pretty inevitable). We wanted to make sure she was old enough to be in the gym that many hours a week, had time to be a kid and occasionally try other things. She never found another sport she loved, but was able to try some shorter term/lower commitment activities (all city chorus, band). Since practice was only 9 hours/week (3 days) and no weekends other than meets up through her first year of Level 4, she still had a decent amount of free time. She could have added other things, sure, but free/family time was more important to us so we made sure to keep at least 2-3 days a week completely free.

 

[profmom]

I know this may go a bit against the grain, but I think it's important, even with kids who are doing a lot of gym, not to let gym become their whole lives. They need to have identities that are not entirely wrapped up in one recreational activity. Both of my gymnasts are musicians as well, my daughter is a fairly serious artist, and even as a Level 9, my son found the time to play weekly rec soccer in the fall and will do so again in the spring. They've also taken advantage of some of the extracurricular activities their high school offers, and I think it does help to ease their path even if it makes for very busy lives.

It's fun for gym to be their whole world when they're little, especially if they are successful at it. Thing is, it gets hard and frustrating eventually for everyone at some point, even the ones who end up being elites. You want them to have a multitude of resources and tools available to get through the tough times, and sometimes that means having a place to go for enjoyment that is completely unrelated to gym. It will genuinely help their longevity in the sport if they are themselves first, in all their complexity and wide-ranging interests, and only part of themselves is their identity as gymnasts.

 

[jessifrostR]

That’s a lot for level 3! I don’t know of any gyms in our area that do more than 9 hours at that level (unless some of it is TOPS and such).

Shoot I'm sorry I meant 4 days a week! It IS 14.5 hours though.

 

[Madden3]

I am also in the camp of the importance of encouraging other activities. On the other hand, as they say, you can lead a horse to water but... We have tried to make room in our boys’ lives for other regular activities, but I have learned I cannot make them embrace other things if they are not happy with how much it interrupts gym.

My sons are both in Scouts. Husband became a Cub Scout Den Leader and holds Den meetings on Sundays, the only day we know they won't have gym. He also only has the Den meet once or twice a month, not weekly so there is no problem with meet season.

Older son is now a Boy Scout, and his Troop does meet weekly at the same time as gym practice. He just does not go every week. So far sporadic attendance has not held him back in rank, but on the other hand it is not like he is going to be all that upset if he never makes Eagle. Other Scout activities are usually on weekends. He would never miss a meet for Scouts, but once in a while he misses Saturday practice to do a hike or camping or service project or whatever.

The other thing I do insist on is that my kids keep up piano lessons. They have been doing those as long as they have been gymnasts. It can be tough to schedule, but we manage to fit in the weekly lessons without missing any gym, and daily practice is also not hard to fit in- We have always been very strict on media limits, so the kids are happy to practice to avoid boredom.

But, while younger DS has been willing to occasionally dabble in other sports, so far nothing "takes." And older son has always absolutely refused to do any other organized sport since getting on the gym team. Because no matter what it is, it always ends up taking him away from gym practice.

This would be fine except I have this fear that my kids are going to get to the end of the road for competitive gymnastics, which for them will be at the end of HS and quite possibly sooner, and have no other sport to do, and that the lack of structure and physical activity will turn them into miserable coach potato bums!

Recently my older DS and I were talking about HS (he starts next year) and the possibility of not doing gym anymore and instead doing a HS sport, and he said "15 is too old to start a new sport." Whether or not that is actually true, he thinks it is true. And that is very troubling to me.

Basically I think that the amount of time even a lower level gymnast has to train is problematic when it comes to life balance. I do not have a solution. I wish I did.

 

[kipnastic mom]

My dd is a 2nd year Level 5 and is playing on the highest level competitive soccer team in our city. We are lucky we are in a gym that strives to have the lowest hours (level 5 practices 7.5 hours) but still place high at state and beyond. They are upfront that they are not an elite gym, but, do have gymnast with division 1 scholarships. Before soccer tryouts this year, we talked with DDs coaches and they were very supportive of her desire to to do both (she is 10). They said that soccer is a good cross training for gym and that it would translate well for what they are doing.

During the fall and spring (gymnastics meets are Dec-Mar), if there is a conflict with a soccer game, we miss gymnastics. During winter, if there is a conflict with a meet, we choose gymnastics. Unfortunately, I know this won't last for much longer, as our optionals train 4 days week instead of the 3 days we practice now. Her soccer coach is workable, so who knows, we might be able to figure it out for another year or two.

At 4th grade, I hate having her go to 1 sport. She has quit everything else she did (brownies, softball) in early elementary school!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Our gym does 5 days/week (14.5) hours starting at level 3. I think 3 days/week would be easier. I just feel like gymnastics alone puts enough stress on their bodies without other sports added to the mix! Not even counting all the hours she spends practicing at home, which for the life of me I can't seem to put a stop to.

At level 3 my girl did 3 days 7-8 hours.

We have made a conscious choice to do a lower hour gym. It works for all of us. We have been told by many it wasn’t possible. She couldn’t make it to optionals. She has. It’s worked. She is not going Div 1 ride. Not her thing. But she has balance and other things. It works for us.

The word that sticks out is sacrifice. Whatever you do. It shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice.

 

[honu]

Fitting in other scheduled activities is hard. I have never been a fan of "gymnastics is my life". Everybody needs some balance. One thing we have always emphasized is having some close friends outside of gymnastics. We made a deliberate effort to have school friends over on the weekend or after school on a day off from gym. DD is in high school now so I'm not involved in planning playdates or sleepovers anymore, but she still maintains a close group of non-gym friends. If she decides it is time to leave gym or she is forced to leave due to injury, I want her to have strong social connections outside of gym. It may not be another extra curricular activity, but I do feel it helps give her some balance. Before the hours started increasing too much, we looked for other activities that only required a one day a week commitment and for a short period of time: ice skating lessons, basketball clinic, after school art or music class. She even played on a low key soccer team for 2 seasons (fall only) and she did summer swim team at our local pool. Her passion has always remained gymnastics, but she has tried some and enjoyed doing some other activities as well. When she reached optionals, it become school, gymnastics and friend/family time. There really isn't time for much else. Well maybe Netflix, she does find time for that!

 

[suebee]

I worry about this a lot. I worry that dd isn’t developing other interests and talents. Like PP have said, I feel like she has put all her eggs in this one gymnastics basket at a very young age, and to be frank, it concerns me.

My non-gymnast child participates in a number of different activities and the total time on these activities probably is similar to, or even exceeds, dd’s weekly time in the gym. But I feel better about his schedule because I feel like if he had to give up one activity for any reason, he still has a lot of other interests and activities. His identity is not tied up in any 1 activity. Plus, some of his activities (but not all) break for the summer, and this allows him to try other cool things in the summer, where gym obviously does not. DD does get to try some new stuff, since she is not going to school in the summer, but opportunities that work around the gym schedule are harder to find.

We try to keep her in some other activities, but it is a challenge and I feel like she is exhausted a lot. I would love for her to get more downtime. I imagine that will get even harder as she get older and gets more homework.

I imagine that will be very difficult for her to face when the time comes to be done with gymnastics. I do alumni interviews for my college and recently interviewed a high school student who was a standout in her sport (not gymnastics) for the first 2 years of high school and then had an injury which meant she could still compete, but was no longer a standout or even a major contributor to the team. She said how much that shook her to the core and how much she realized her identity was tied up in being good at her sport, and how she had to actively find new ways to define herself after her injury. I think that’s hard for a high school junior, but even harder for a younger kid.