Parents Virgin gymnastics mom. Need advice!!

[sce]

Not sure if you read all my responses. I have no problem with having fun. That wasn't really the nature of my question.

Then what was your question? You seemed to want to know if you should bring up an issue to the HC. It sounded like it was about the playfulness etc, maybe we misunderstood. What is the issue you are concerned with?

Now I would have an issue with tickling. IMO it is not an appropriate teacher behavior. Playful can be fine, tickling is too intimate.

 

[sce]

I don't think tickles are appropriate at the gym in general. Of your entire post, that is what stuck out to me the most. I agree with others that making it less serious at that level is probably best- to prevent long-term burnout and because kids that little should just be having a blast. Still, with the tickles though. Hmm. I guess it's a thing with me.

Nope, not just you.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Am I the only one who sees troll here? Tickles? 45 min privates every week?pre team should be more serious? Practices her new skills every night after bath?

Um.......

 

[Taurus]

^^ agreeing this smells a tad "under the bridge" .. But if you're fur realz, and your DD is a serious little midge, I get it/ perhaps you just want to see progress & work being done- don't fret! In another yr your little tigger will be at the gym far more than you ever fathomed & you'll prob be missing those tickles- they are few and far between when she hits team (but they still beg for more hours

 

[Faith]

I don't think troll- o/p has made herself very identifiable, so unless she's using someone else's details....

O/p. I had that kid, well two of them actually, that were very unfocussed around at 5. And 6, and at 7 a little. I would sit in the stands and get very frustrated that other kids listened, followed instructions, and worked their tiny bottoms off. DH told me to chill, it was fun, nothing more was needed. I watched the other kids focus, and get really good. However I backed off, let the coaches deal with it. Sent her in every class telling her to have fun.

But do you know what? Those serious, hard working, extra training kids have all given up now. DD has figured out the link between work and success, and is way, way ahead of all of them.

S0 for your question, don't bring it up. There's no good way to do it without being negative about the other child, or the coach. Don't worry too much until she's 6 or 7, if the class is still really unfocussed then, ask when she might be moving to a more serious class.

However I agree with the others that tickling and other physical contact isn't usually appropriate.

 

[cbifoja]

O/p. I had that kid, well two of them actually, that were very unfocussed around at 5. And 6, and at 7 a little. I would sit in the stands and get very frustrated that other kids listened, followed instructions, and worked their tiny bottoms off. DH told me to chill, it was fun, nothing more was needed. I watched the other kids focus, and get really good. However I backed off, let the coaches deal with it. Sent her in every class telling her to have fun.

But do you know what? Those serious, hard working, extra training kids have all given up now. DD has figured out the link between work and success, and is way, way ahead of all of them.

Same experience here. DD was very wiggly and giggly. Gym was SO MUCH FUN all the time and not something that she had to work particularly hard at. Things happened for her when they happened. She excelled in skill acquisition but lagged behind in form. But she didn't care one whit! Not even when it came to the podium....as long as she got to do fun skills, she didn't care very much about medals/placement because she was having fun.

All the super intense kids who scored 37s and 38s at her L3 State have all left the sport at this point. From her entire age division from L3 State, she is the only one who is an L8. So I'm thinking that something kept her in the sport and kept her moving forward....and that something was the FUN factor!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

There was no judgement. at all. Just my opinion. It can be different from yours. I have just seen many kiddos over the years burn out due to privates and extras, etc. At that age, it is always good to leave them wanting more.

Back on topic: at 5 should be lots of fun, and giggles, etc. I know the coaches at our gym who coach the littles are always making it look fun!

Yes to both. Its gymnastics not army boot camp.

They are 5 most five yr olds are not serious and all that focused, its not really uncommon. The OPs seems to be on different curve/parenting level, allegedly.

Its supposed to be fun, especially at 5.

And I see a lot of those kids who go a bunch of hours that young, in all kinds of splints and boots at 7, 8 and 9. Much like a marathon, gymnastics is about pacing.

Don't want there to be nothing left for the higher levels.

As far as tickling goes. It really depends. The gym we started at when my girl was 2, tickling wouldn't have been uncommon even at 5, along with lots of hugs and such. They were so little it drew them in and at that age, the parents stayed, so there were always adults around. Not really a problem or in anyway icky. In fact my daughter saw here old coach at a meet recently lots of hugs and affection all around.

My girl is going to be 10, we wind down, snuggle and read before bed.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I answered it above and with all due respect, I think we all could do without any judgment.

Really

However the coach for her pre team is much more lax...tickles and plays around. Ect. I find this not the place for pre team. She especially does this to a little girl who has no focus and in my opinion has no business in pre team.

I realize they are 5 and they do have fun, but the coach is constantly spending so much time trying to get this girl to do what she is supposed to and in an effort, tickles her and has fun with her, placates her ect...it's ridiculous!

Cause there is no judgment there at all

Why is it when someone doesn't like an answer/opinion is it always judgment.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Nope, not just you.

Yea, that jumped out to me too. I am totally down with fun at gym, especially for a 5 year old, but I don't feel comfortable with tickles.

 

[kayjaybe]

"I don't think I want to know a 6 year old who isn't a dreamer or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously." - John Candy, Uncle Buck.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Yes to both. Its gymnastics not army boot camp.

They are 5 most five yr olds are not serious and all that focused, its not really uncommon. The OPs seems to be on different curve/parenting level, allegedly.

Its supposed to be fun, especially at 5.

And I see a lot of those kids who go a bunch of hours that young, in all kinds of splints and boots at 7, 8 and 9. Much like a marathon, gymnastics is about pacing.

Don't want there to be nothing left for the higher levels.

As far as tickling goes. It really depends. The gym we started at when my girl was 2, tickling wouldn't have been uncommon even at 5, along with lots of hugs and such. They were so little it drew them in and at that age, the parents stayed, so there were always adults around. Not really a problem or in anyway icky. In fact my daughter saw here old coach at a meet recently lots of hugs and affection all around.

My girl is going to be 10, we wind down, snuggle and read before bed.

YES yes yes to this! You really have to be careful of injuries. It breaks my heart to see young ones with such a passion for the sport start getting serious injuries from simply doing too much too fast. Of course when they are five, they are going to want more, more MORE of something that they really love, but it's important to set limits, that's why I mentioned earlier that a conditioning/stretching routine would be so much more beneficial for her right now than weekly privates. People see three year olds doing back handsprings on youtube and think that's the kind of training that is going to get little girls to elite or college levels one day, and it's just not, it puts them out of the sport a lot of the time. Slow and steady. If your dd enjoys privates, then an occasional one is ok, but use it as a special something fun or a reward at that age, not a weekly occurrence.

 

[MILgymFAM]

My girl is going to be 10, we wind down, snuggle and read before bed.

My girls are 12 and 14, and we snuggle before bed and sometimes in the morning too. I'm their mother, so physical affection is appropriate as long they want it. However, I don't even force my girls to be physically affectionate with family- I've always left that to them, and I would discourage it with strangers or random adults. My kids didn't do gym as young as we are talking about here, but they did dance, swim, play soccer. I wouldn't have wanted any of those teachers (or school teachers) being physically affectionate with my kids. I just don't see it as ok. My kids have always hated tickling anyway, so I guess it's a non issue. My ODD's friend made the mistake of sneaking a tickle in at summer camp and her immediate response (she apologized) was to swing. Different strokes, I guess.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My girls are 12 and 14, and we snuggle before bed and sometimes in the morning too. I'm their mother, so physical affection is appropriate as long they want it. However, I don't even force my girls to be physically affectionate with family.

I think you misunderstood. No one touches my kid if she doesn't want to be. Not even Mom and Dad.

My response was to this

My daughter practices something nearly every night after her bath, so she is a determined little girl.

JMO Sorry bedtime is for winding down and connecting as a family. Not for practicing anything, but reading

 

[MILgymFAM]

I think you misunderstood. No one touches my kid if she doesn't want to be. Not even Mom and Dad.

My response was to this


JMO Sorry bedtime is for winding down and connecting as a family. Not for practicing anything, but reading

You're right, I misunderstood. My apologies.

 

[gymgal]

I come from a different background, working with really young kiddos so that might skew my thinking here but I see no problem with tickles to help a child to re-engage/interact and focus. It works very well. Yes, there needs to be an established relationship there and it must be something the child enjoys. We have no info on this child - only what the OP posted, which is very little. The parent (or a therapist) might have provided strategies that help this child focus and stay with the group. Now, there could be a debate whether a child having such a hard time focusing belongs on pre-team but again, we don't know the background, how the gym sets up its young classes, how talented this little child is, etc.

OP - as every other poster has said - DO NOT go to the HC with this. It s not worth it. It likely won't change anything. Your daughter seems to be having fun and is learning. She is on pre-team and will likely move up to team where the expectations will rise. Let her have this one last year of fun before that happens. 10 years from now, you will realize that this 'fun' class will not have helped or harmed her ability to move of the gym ladder - except maybe it will help reinforce that love of Gymnastics.

 

[sce]

My girl is going to be 10, we wind down, snuggle and read before bed.

I don't see how this relates to this thread at all ???

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't see how this relates to this thread at all ???

It was in response to the information below.

My daughter practices something nearly every night after her bath, so she is a determined little girl. I

I think 5 yr olds need quiet down time in the evening, at least the ones I know do.

Just had a vision of a 5 yr old go go going all day, preteam, privates and then "practicing" every night. They are little kids.

 

[sce]

It was in response to the information below.



I think 5 yr olds need quiet down time in the evening, at least the ones I know do.

Just had a vision of a 5 yr old go go going all day, preteam, privates and then "practicing" every night. They are little kids.

Ah, I see now.