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Just a small rant about jealous parents

Gymnastmomma2010

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Sep 9, 2019
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I just have to get this out real quick and maybe jealousy isnt the right word for this, but I just dont understand. Lol. My DD recently switched to T&T. I dont stay for practice. I used to hang around for the first 30 minutes and chit chat. I will occasionally try to see the last 30 minutes. One of the moms is CONSTANTLY trying to trash the other kids routines/skills to me. We came from artistic not long ago. My DD is enjoying her sport again and sometimes I just want to come see my baby enjoying what shes doing. Not listen to this woman tear these poor babies down. Ive started trying to make it a point to loudly root for these girls (including CGM) when they are doing well. But for each positivie thing I say this woman has something negative to say. Unless of course it's about her kid. Ive stopped trying to watch at all. Because Im just not cool with that. Which bums me out and I know it bums my daughter out because shes asked me why I dont try to watch her anymore. This woman even had saved in her phone all of the girls placements from Nationals. I just never understood why some moms are so worried about how everyone else is doing. Anyways just needed to get that out lol.
 

ldw4mlo

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Say to the woman. Please stop, I root for all the girls. Its the judges job to critique. I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m here to watch and support my girl.
Thanks.

At our gym. Most parents have books where they track all the girls scores. I might be the only who doesn’t I keep track of my kids that’s it. If I wanted to check others scores there’s meetscores dot com.
 

MILgymFAM

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Say to the woman. Please stop, I root for all the girls. Its the judges job to critique. I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m here to watch and support my girl.
Thanks.

At our gym. Most parents have books where they track all the girls scores. I might be the only who doesn’t I keep track of my kids that’s it. If I wanted to check others scores there’s meetscores dot com.
Not that I’m defending this mom in the least, but there is no meetsscores online equivalent for T&T.
 
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OrchidZ

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Please don't let her issues ruin this for you and your girl! If she tries to talk to you, you have plenty of options. 1) Just tell her, "Sorry, but I'm just trying to watch my kid. I really don't want to talk about that." Repeat as often as needed. 2) Get up and move. 3) Take headphones and listen to music or a podcast when you watch. 4) Call someone you care about who wants to support you and chat while you watch. 5) You could even talk to the coaching staff, not naming names. I'd think they'd want to encourage parents to keep it positive, especially in the gym.

I prefer the straightforward approach.
Good luck :) And congrats on finding something that's a great fit!!!
 

Gymx2

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I absolutely hate that attitude. Every single kid out there is working hard and wants to be there. Every single kid out there is someone's child. Don't let this woman take away the joy you find in watching your kid practice. I agree with the advice to put some distance between you, or tell her directly that you aren't comfortable with the criticism. I've recently gotten to know someone who is always negative about our gym and I've begun just responding with one word answers- or grunts, "Huh", "Hmm," "Oh?" etc.
 

MuggleMom

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I take videos of the girls on my daughters team and send them to their moms when they miss a new skill...its kind of a joke now but they love it not everyone can be there to watch. I am just as happy when Susie gets her double back in the pit as when my kid she gets her layout in the pit. I don't get the negativity its got to be exhausting. That woman must be tired like all the time lol. I second headphones its the universal I don't have time to talk to no one put off and should render you safe. POD casts are the best cause you can watch practice but still listen to something interesting. I have several awesome POD casts to recommend lol.
 

GymDadWA

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There is one mom I don't always feel in the mood to talk to, so I just keep a pair of earbuds in my jacket and put them on when I'm not up for social interaction. Don't even turn them on half the time, just want to give that social signal that I don't want to be interrupted right now.
 
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Freddy's Fred

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Say to the woman. Please stop, I root for all the girls. Its the judges job to critique. I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m here to watch and support my girl.
Thanks.

At our gym. Most parents have books where they track all the girls scores. I might be the only who doesn’t I keep track of my kids that’s it. If I wanted to check others scores there’s meetscores dot com.
That's completely insane -- tracking other kids scores in a book. That's a very very unhealthy place for them to be in.
 
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SMH

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That's completely insane -- tracking other kids scores in a book. That's a very very unhealthy place for them to be in.
We have a mom who keeps the entire teams scores and placements- then posts them on her personal Facebook page. We weren’t Facebook friends until recently, so I had no idea. I know the coaches track scores and they show up on various meet websites, but I find this a little too obsessive and also intrusive in a weird, icky way.
 

Freddy's Fred

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We have a mom who keeps the entire teams scores and placements- then posts them on her personal Facebook page. We weren’t Facebook friends until recently, so I had no idea. I know the coaches track scores and they show up on various meet websites, but I find this a little too obsessive and also intrusive in a weird, icky way.
SMH is right, I am shaking my head. What is wrong with that person. I would stay far, far away from her.
 

SMH

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SMH is right, I am shaking my head. What is wrong with that person. I would stay far, far away from her.
Oh I do. When I was first aware, I second guessed myself- maybe I was being over sensitive, but after sharing with several other gym moms from my gym and other gyms the consensus is that it is not appropriate and yes, it’s creepy. My daughter/gymnast who is almost 10 and doesn’t have social media herself but is old enough to understand how it works, also feels uncomfortable. I thought about approaching the coaches but since it’s public information in the first place they can’t exactly ban her from posting. I just keep my distance now.
 

Gymx2

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We have a mom who keeps the entire teams scores and placements- then posts them on her personal Facebook page. We weren’t Facebook friends until recently, so I had no idea. I know the coaches track scores and they show up on various meet websites, but I find this a little too obsessive and also intrusive in a weird, icky way.
Whaaaat?? ?That's a CGM with a side of extra crazy.
 

ldw4mlo

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That's completely insane -- tracking other kids scores in a book. That's a very very unhealthy place for them to be in.
Meh, Its a team thing. Actually pre meet scores..... It has come in handy.....

We do a yearbook for our kids, part of their page in their high scores. Invariably there is someone who doesn't know their kids highest scores.

Sometimes I don't write mine down until I get it from one of the parents at the end of the meet. Its just not that big a deal. No secret they all sit together with their books. They log the venue, was parking good, food good. Highs, lows, its like a team gymnastics journal. As parents float around to catch an event or video. They all float back. What did Sally get on beam. What did Jane get on floor. Hey I missed my kids vault score what did she get............... Folks make sure coaches get the info for the gyms FB page.


And our parents aren't the only ones who do it. I feel more like the odd one out because I don't.

They don't post other kids info on their personal page though. Someone did that and I would shut her down.
 

Flipfloppy

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That's completely insane -- tracking other kids scores in a book. That's a very very unhealthy place for them to be in.
My mother tracked scores and "highlight" elements for both our team and top competitors from other teams. Now that I'm an adult and understand the emotions of watching one's child compete, I think note-taking was how she controlled her nerves. I didn't understand and it seemed obsessive at the time, and it embarrassed me.

Twenty-five years later when I found that box of notes and posted a picture of one page to Facebook, my teammates and the people we competed against want copies of my mother's notes. "Flippy, your mother was the COOLEST!" I'm laughing just thinking about it.
 

doublestrike

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My mother tracked scores and "highlight" elements for both our team and top competitors from other teams. Now that I'm an adult and understand the emotions of watching one's child compete, I think note-taking was how she controlled her nerves. I didn't understand and it seemed obsessive at the time, and it embarrassed me.

Twenty-five years later when I found that box of notes and posted a picture of one page to Facebook, my teammates and the people we competed against want copies of my mother's notes. "Flippy, your mother was the COOLEST!" I'm laughing just thinking about it.
Thankfully, I've never encountered a parent who is critical of gymnasts' gymnastics, certainly if a child misbehaves, mothers are aware of it, but certainly not their athletics. A lot of parents will write their team's scores down in the program, and I think it's to keep them occupied during a meet. I haven't seen another parent post others' scores on social media, and that is a bit odd.
 
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raenndrops

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We have a mom who keeps the entire teams scores and placements- then posts them on her personal Facebook page. We weren’t Facebook friends until recently, so I had no idea. I know the coaches track scores and they show up on various meet websites, but I find this a little too obsessive and also intrusive in a weird, icky way.
I keep track of the entire team's scores and placements (all levels, every meet) ... but to post on the TEAM website along with a journal entry with highlights (broken out by level: number of personal event record scores; number of personal all around record scores; number of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place events and all arounds; 9.0 club - name, event, and score; Y Nationals qualifiers; number of team record events; if they earned a team record all around score; and team placements.

I print out a spreadsheet for each meet and fill in the scores as they come and the placements during awards. After I get home from the meet (or the next day), I fill in the spreadsheet on my computer (I have attached a sample page). Once I get the entire thing color-coded, I am ready to do the journal entry ... and I also take the personal records and add them to the "Season High Scores" spreadsheet.

I have been doing this since 2009-2010 season. HC uses my information for our 9.0 Club "Hands on the Wall."

And it is definitely not CGM ... because I even did it when none of my girls were on team ... and it is part of my job, lol.
 

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SMH

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I keep track of the entire team's scores and placements (all levels, every meet) ... but to post on the TEAM website along with a journal entry with highlights (broken out by level: number of personal event record scores; number of personal all around record scores; number of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place events and all arounds; 9.0 club - name, event, and score; Y Nationals qualifiers; number of team record events; if they earned a team record all around score; and team placements.

I print out a spreadsheet for each meet and fill in the scores as they come and the placements during awards. After I get home from the meet (or the next day), I fill in the spreadsheet on my computer (I have attached a sample page). Once I get the entire thing color-coded, I am ready to do the journal entry ... and I also take the personal records and add them to the "Season High Scores" spreadsheet.

I have been doing this since 2009-2010 season. HC uses my information for our 9.0 Club "Hands on the Wall."

And it is definitely not CGM ... because I even did it when none of my girls were on team ... and it is part of my job, lol.
Right- and since you are posting them to a place the entire team can see/access them then I would assume that everyone is aware of what you are doing.
My discomfort is it being posted to social media that only some parents have access to or are aware of. I’ve never had a conversation with this person, and she doesn’t share in our team group, or with the level. It’s just on her personal Facebook.
 

ldw4mlo

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Right- and since you are posting them to a place the entire team can see/access them then I would assume that everyone is aware of what you are doing.
My discomfort is it being posted to social media that only some parents have access to or are aware of. I’ve never had a conversation with this person, and she doesn’t share in our team group, or with the level. It’s just on her personal Facebook.
The reality is most meets these days are posted on-line. There are a number of sites but a majority of them through meetscores so really she isn’t posting anything folks couldn‘t find elsewhere.

Heck if I posted my kids scores and the meet she was at anyone who cared to could figure out who she is in about 5 mins.

Now if she was providing snarky commentary on other kids that would be an issue.
 

Sk8ermaiden

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I have taken down the scores of children in my daughter's age group and her team when there is no online scoring or it is acting up (or I am bored).

Posting other children's scores on my personal Facebook would be weird and CGM territory. I would not like someone else doing that with my kid's scores. Mymeetscores doing it or the gym (or a parent volunteer on behalf of the gym) doing it is very different from Susie's mom doing it. It's not that I'm under the illusion that her scores are private - it's that it makes me uncomfortable that a random parent is concerning themselves with my kid's gymnastics enough to post on social media about it. We had a parent once who concerned herself with the other kids' gymnastics and it was not a good situation.
 

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