WAG For Parents why do you stay and watch?

[aerialriver]

This is purely just out of curiousity, I can't post on the Parent's forum so I'll post it here. The thread about if you stay if you have a commute sparked a question of my own.

I totally get why you stay if you have a preschooler or 1 hour rec. kid or have a long commute or sometimes when you just want to watch but why do you stay for long team practices? The whole time and everyday? I'm really wondering as it seems we have a lot of level 4/5 parents that stay the entire 3 hour practice 4 times a week that live close. No big deal we have the viewing space just not the parking space. I just think it is kind of odd. I am not a parent and my parents could not wait to drop my butt off at activities when I was a kid but it seems like it might get really boring.

 

[MaryA]

I don't stay now, but I used to. Part of it was purely social. I got to hang out with my friends. Part of it was that I wasn't really thrilled with the gym DD was at and I felt better "keeping an eye on things." But I will admit that a big part of it was getting to see how my DD was doing. Don't be too hard on us parents. We wanted to be there to hear your first words, watch your first step... is it really so unusual that we would want to be there to see your first ROBHS? However, I am pretty certain I do NOT want to be there to see my DD's first attempt at a Yurchenko.

 

[GymBeeMom]

I know a few different reasons that parents stay, although most of the parents with kids that go four hours do not stay.

*some parents are watching for every little skill and improvement, waiting for the very moment their child may show they have achieved some amazing level of gymnastics and those parents wouldn't want to miss a second of that. Yes, really, it's true.
*some parents stay because gas IS EXPENSIVE and driving back and forth becomes a financial burden.
*some parents stay because they believe in their hearts this shows how supportive they are. I don't think the kids see it that way, but the parents intentions are usually good. Letting go can be hard to do...

When DD was a level 4 I stayed for all these reasons, plus she was only 5/6 years old and I convinced myself she was too young to be there without me. In my case, I tried to convince myself she wanted/needed me there, even though I was totally there for my own benefit. I wanted to see her do what she does because I love her that much. Now, at level 7 and many hours of practice a week, I get that I needed to get away and focus on my other family members, and time for ME.. I now truly enjoy seeing the progress she has made when I pop in occasionally and I no longer freak when she has a bad day or loses a skill. She has room to do what she does without any consideration of my feelings about it,which is how it should be.

I'm sure there are other reasons parents stay, and as long as the kids aren't affected negatively by it, then no sweat. To each their own...

 

[cbifoja]

For me, my child had some bowel issues and is terrified she is going to have an accident and no way to deal with it on her own. It is a real concern and I keep extra leos on hand because of it.

However things have gotten much better this past six months so I've told her I'm going to start leaving this summer.

Sent from my LGL55C using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[skschlag]

Why I stay (sometimes): (D is 10 yo level 6)
1. he only practices 2 1/2 hours and we live 20-30 minutes away.
2. Gas is expensive, and I pay a lot of money already to the gym.
3. SOCIAL. We sit and drink coffee and talk about everything but gym!
4. quiet time. I can sit and read a book or work without any thing else going on.
5. BEcause D asked me to stay and watch something
6. To watch gymnastics.

And it is in that order. He practices 5 nights a week, and anytime my dh is in town working at the office, I will run home quickly! Most of the time I walk/run on the trail, grocery shop, go to the library, get oil changed, run back to work for something, etc.

 

[LizzieLac]

I only stay the night I drive there and home. It is a waste of an hour to drive home and then back again to pick up. I also bring my computer and work. So really I only watch some the practice even when I am there.

But I will say dd likes me to watch as this has been a year of a lot of new skills and she is excited.

 

[Krystan]

I'll be honest and say I really just *love* watching my dd do gymnastics! I still think it is amazing, three years later, that she has finally found something she loves to do and is good at. I love watching the process, I love watching her try, try, and try again, and finally succeed at something she's been working on for a while. I feel so grateful that I got to witness her first kip; it was truly an awesome moment!

That being said, I know that if I watch too often I, personally, will get too emotionally involved in it. Back when she was on pre-team and *insisted* I stay (and practice was only 2 hours so driving home was a waste of time/gas), I did feel that happening to me. Now that she is going almost 12 hours a week, and I work two of the days anyway and can't go, and have family obligations, etc, I usually try to stay for a whole practice maybe twice a month (not the 4 hour ones, but a 2 or 3 hr one). Other days I'll stay for a bit or come early, but with warm-up at the beginning and conditioning at the end, the best part is in the middle! Twice a month is a good mix for me (and usually I bring other things to occupy me; reading, knitting, work, etc). I keep up with how she's doing, keep in-the-loop, but don't get bogged down in it.

 

[Committed]

DD only has 2 hour practices and I only rarely stay the whole time. When she first started team, I stayed the whole time, but she was so little (just turned 5).
Now, I'll go and maybe watch the last 45 minutes. It's mostly to watch her progress and chat with friends.

 

[my4buffaloes]

If you think about it, between and school and gymnastics we rarely see our gymnasts. I like watching my dd's do gymnastics. i also stay sometimes to work, sometimes to be social (although I have to be careful who I talk to). I rarely stay the whole time, only if I have a lot of work to do. It is usually over the dinner hour and I have to cook dinner for my family. I used to stay more often, but now I just come 30 minutes early to pick up, or will stay the first 30 minutes to watch. I just like watching them.

 

[maddiemei]

I stay because
1. Gas is to expensive to drive back and forth 4 times a week. It also is a 40 minute round trip and practice is 2 to 2.5 hours.
2. I can chat with my friends who are there.
3. My daughter likes for me to watch and those years will be gone soon when she is to embarrassed to have me there
That all being said, I have started leaving more and more but it's only to go run to the store or now we go to our own gym. I do like to watch what's going on though. We have a couple of girls who like to gang up on others. One girl constantly tells my daughter (who is the baby on the team by 10 months) that she doesn't deserve to be on the team. The coaches don't always see it because they are busy. They also aren't there to babysit and solve every little dispute and I don't expect them to. This way at least I have some idea about what is going on when my daughter says something.

 

[sglemon]

I live about 4 mile from the gym, I may watch a couple full practices a year. I usually stay at the beginning of a season, when there is a level change, I like to see how the new levels active is run, how the girls interact, coaching style of a new coach and how my dd might respond. Moves usually happen in June, when school is out, and I have the tome to watch. I watched a full practice this week, because on Monday, My dd was doing a round off back tuck. She still needs a light assist, more for confidence, but her coach wasn't standing close enough, she went up in her back tuck stopped rotating and came down on her head. Luckily she wasn't physically hurt. We skipped the next class, she was complaining about some pain, but I am sure it was psychological. I sat through her next practice back, making sure she can do the skills, which she did just fine. I know she is dealing with some trust issues with her coach, but I am thrilled it didn't mess with her current year skills, states is next month. I actually asked to not to let her up train again until after states.

Most of the moms who stay and watch, it seems to be more social. Now several leave, head over to Applebee's for drinks, instead of hanging in the gym. LOL

 

[Sparky]

What a great question .

Why do I stay? (and I am that parent who watches a lot, and my dd is now 14, I typically watch at least 5 - 10 hours a week out of a 25 hour training week). In fact, I watch as much as I can. I LOVE watching gymnastics, I love pretty much everything about it - it inspires me! And, as already stated, my dd is at gym so much, that it is a way for me to share in something she is passionate about, and really to simply be involved in her life as much as possible. Between school and gym, she is away from home A LOT.

It also allows me to be much more subjective when she complains about a coach, teammate, etc. Instead of instantly leaping to her defence, or being on her side, I can (usually) offer a much more balanced perspective - this helps keep her on track and I know (from our many conversations) that she is a driven individual with some pretty lofty goals. She needs me to support her in this way.

I wish I could say that I trust that all of the other people in her life (and I speak mainly about her coaches here, whom I adore) to always be her best advocate - but the truth of the matter is (and truly her coaches are awesome), nobody wants her to achieve her goals more than SHE does. In this, she is in (the most) charge of her own destiny. To this end, I know her best. I know her better than her coaches (who know her very well). I can read her like a book. If my insight into her psyche can help she and her coaches have better communication, then I am all for it. I can best achieve this goal through observation.

I also believe very strongly in the parent/coach/athlete triangle - I think without the participation/interaction/communication of all, there is less chance of achieving the athlete's goals.

Yes, I do stay at the gym for the social aspect too. It definitely is my downtime (I would much rather sit there watching than going out for lunch), and as she daytrains for the most part, it doesn't take away from my time with my other child.

But mostly I stay because I am interested in helping my daughter persue and achieve her goals - and I really believe that if I can manage to maintain my objectivity (and sometimes it is a challenge, lol), I can be a great asset to her.

As you have probably ascertained, my situation may be a bit different than that of some of the other parents for whom gymnastics is not an all encompassing entity, lol. We are also not in the U.S., and most clubs in our country are non-profit, and not privately owned - this also changes the game a bit when it comes to parents expectations of what a club can/will provide to each athlete, and what the coaches' own goals are.

And yes, I have some control issues

 

[KimmeeA13]

I stay most of the time because:

Practice is only 2.5-3 hours two times a week.

My daughter ASKS me to stay. After she's been at school all day she wants to know I'm nearby. (Yes, we have some separation issues we're working on.)

I like watching her try new skills and I like to see her joy when she masters them.

It's one time when I can sit still and not feel like I need to be doing something else.

I do sometimes run an errand or two, and I always have a book and my laptop so I'm not glued to the window, but it's nice to visit with the other moms and just be still for a while.

 

[gwenmom]

I stay because DD has asked me too. Also gives me time to talk to some friends. That is changing tho as I have started running errands and DD is starting to be more comfortable with it.

 

[curlymomof3]

I don't stay for every practice, but I occasionally pop in for the last hour of practice to observe. And yesterday was a reminder of why I do this. Dd got her kip for the first time and I was there to see it!! I don't think it is something you will understand until you have children of your own, but nothing compares to seeing them hit those really big skills for the first time. Kind of like seeing them take their first steps; it never gets old!

 

[mamaS]

Well, it might be hard to understand, but a lot of people stay because they like being close to the kiddo. When you have kids you may understand. 4 hours is a long time and my daughter misses me. She is so much happier and thrives when she knows I'm there. I can't always do this, but I try my best. It is fun to chat with friends and drink coffee too.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

We don't allow parents to watch at all. Maybe once a year we may have a special family day when the parents are allowed to come in and watch. We don't have a viewing area so it would be a chaos if all the parents stayed and sit there right next to floor!

Actually I think it would be really weird having parents hanging there during team practices. It would change the behavior of girls for sure... As a coach I would also feel a bit uncomfortable if the parents were there watching my every move and criticizing me and maybe even the kids with other parents.

I'm happy the parents have other things to do during practices. Actually I have never had a gymnast who refuses to let her parents leave. Maybe that's because all the other parents leave as well. It's a common rule in here that parents don't stay during their children's activities.

 

[Kiwi]

I don't always watch but quite often I do. I enjoy watching my DD doing gymnastics, plus I like to watch gymnastics in general and see the skills other groups are doing. Sometimes I chat with the other parents. Sometimes it is nice to have some down time and just read a book, while they are conditioning for example. We live about 20 minutes from the gym and I don't want to drive all the way home and then come back, which is also a waste of petrol. She doesn't mind whether I'm there or not, but I think she does quite like it when I am there, and I don't think it affects how she trains, I mean she isn't always looking over at me or anything.

 

[Gymdad2]

I celebrated the day dd got her driver's liscense. enough said!

 

[lhmom]

When DD first joined the team, she was 6 and painfully shy. I stayed because it was important to her at first. She felt better seeing me upstairs. Now, I don't stay that often unless it's to chat or to help take care of team business. Lately though, she has been wanting me to stay since they have been working on a ton of new skills and she wants me to watch.