WAG For Parents why do you stay and watch?

[gasrgoose]

What a great question .

Why do I stay? (and I am that parent who watches a lot, and my dd is now 14, I typically watch at least 5 - 10 hours a week out of a 25 hour training week). In fact, I watch as much as I can. I LOVE watching gymnastics, I love pretty much everything about it - it inspires me! And, as already stated, my dd is at gym so much, that it is a way for me to share in something she is passionate about, and really to simply be involved in her life as much as possible. Between school and gym, she is away from home A LOT.

It also allows me to be much more subjective when she complains about a coach, teammate, etc. Instead of instantly leaping to her defence, or being on her side, I can (usually) offer a much more balanced perspective - this helps keep her on track and I know (from our many conversations) that she is a driven individual with some pretty lofty goals. She needs me to support her in this way.

I wish I could say that I trust that all of the other people in her life (and I speak mainly about her coaches here, whom I adore) to always be her best advocate - but the truth of the matter is (and truly her coaches are awesome), nobody wants her to achieve her goals more than SHE does. In this, she is in (the most) charge of her own destiny. To this end, I know her best. I know her better than her coaches (who know her very well). I can read her like a book. If my insight into her psyche can help she and her coaches have better communication, then I am all for it. I can best achieve this goal through observation.

I also believe very strongly in the parent/coach/athlete triangle - I think without the participation/interaction/communication of all, there is less chance of achieving the athlete's goals.

Yes, I do stay at the gym for the social aspect too. It definitely is my downtime (I would much rather sit there watching than going out for lunch), and as she daytrains for the most part, it doesn't take away from my time with my other child.

But mostly I stay because I am interested in helping my daughter persue and achieve her goals - and I really believe that if I can manage to maintain my objectivity (and sometimes it is a challenge, lol), I can be a great asset to her.

As you have probably ascertained, my situation may be a bit different than that of some of the other parents for whom gymnastics is not an all encompassing entity, lol. We are also not in the U.S., and most clubs in our country are non-profit, and not privately owned - this also changes the game a bit when it comes to parents expectations of what a club can/will provide to each athlete, and what the coaches' own goals are.

And yes, I have some control issues

Very well said

 

[mommyof1]

Why do I stay?

Because my kid is six years old and only goes 3.5 hours a week.
Because my daughter wants me to see what she can do (although I have repeatedly threatened to stop watching if she keeps looking up at me!).
Because all the other parents stay and I am afraid of looking like the mean mommy.
Because I don't yet feel 100% confident in the quality of the program the way I do with her other activities, where I have enough experience to know what to look for in a coach/teacher/curriculum, and where there is no risk of catastrophic injury.
Because I love watching her hard work pay off and I know I won't have that chance for much longer.
Because if I went home I would have no excuse for not doing housework.

 

[armbmom]

At her old gym, it was a half hour drive each way, and during a 3 hour 2x a week class, it just seemed to make sense to stay. Once we moved to a new gym, I stayed the first 2 or 3 weeks, just to see how well she adjusted to the new gym and coaching style. I then started dropping off and then coming back for bars or beam, depending on the day, just because I wanted to see how she has been improving. Now, I'm back to watching almost the entire time, because, it is almost time for them to make move ups and I wanted to monitor how she was doing and I wanted to see her first kip. I'm hoping to hear on the move up decision in the next few days.

 

[cbifoja]

What a great question .

Why do I stay? (and I am that parent who watches a lot, and my dd is now 14, I typically watch at least 5 - 10 hours a week out of a 25 hour training week). In fact, I watch as much as I can. I LOVE watching gymnastics, I love pretty much everything about it - it inspires me! And, as already stated, my dd is at gym so much, that it is a way for me to share in something she is passionate about, and really to simply be involved in her life as much as possible. Between school and gym, she is away from home A LOT.

It also allows me to be much more subjective when she complains about a coach, teammate, etc. Instead of instantly leaping to her defence, or being on her side, I can (usually) offer a much more balanced perspective - this helps keep her on track and I know (from our many conversations) that she is a driven individual with some pretty lofty goals. She needs me to support her in this way.

I wish I could say that I trust that all of the other people in her life (and I speak mainly about her coaches here, whom I adore) to always be her best advocate - but the truth of the matter is (and truly her coaches are awesome), nobody wants her to achieve her goals more than SHE does. In this, she is in (the most) charge of her own destiny. To this end, I know her best. I know her better than her coaches (who know her very well). I can read her like a book. If my insight into her psyche can help she and her coaches have better communication, then I am all for it. I can best achieve this goal through observation.

I also believe very strongly in the parent/coach/athlete triangle - I think without the participation/interaction/communication of all, there is less chance of achieving the athlete's goals.

Yes, I do stay at the gym for the social aspect too. It definitely is my downtime (I would much rather sit there watching than going out for lunch), and as she daytrains for the most part, it doesn't take away from my time with my other child.

But mostly I stay because I am interested in helping my daughter persue and achieve her goals - and I really believe that if I can manage to maintain my objectivity (and sometimes it is a challenge, lol), I can be a great asset to her.

As you have probably ascertained, my situation may be a bit different than that of some of the other parents for whom gymnastics is not an all encompassing entity, lol. We are also not in the U.S., and most clubs in our country are non-profit, and not privately owned - this also changes the game a bit when it comes to parents expectations of what a club can/will provide to each athlete, and what the coaches' own goals are.

And yes, I have some control issues

I love how unapologetic you are! Sometimes it seems that people try to make those of us who don't drop and dash into CGMs.

I've stayed through two levels, mostly because of some health issues but also because of the cost of gas given we live in a town other than the one she trains in. I've never minded it much for most of the reasons already stated (social, enjoying the sport, wanting to spend time with the kid). In addition, I work at the gym and am heavily involved with booster club so if they aren't doing something interesting, I have something else to do.

All that being said, she's going up to 20 hours this summer and I think I'm ready for some time away from the gym. I will still see a lot but not all 20 hours this summer.

 

[CreateMagic]

This is a great thread! I've often read about coaches' reasons for not wanting parents to stay--and I understand many of those--but its awesome to hear from the parents why they do stay! We have many parents who stay to watch, some who drop and go, and some who are there occasionally. I find that the ones who stay occasionally. At the level I coach, its not really a big deal whatever they decide to do, unless one of my kiddos get sick or something. I do appreciate that the wonderful parents I have allow me and the other coaches to actually coach (ie, no parent "coaching" from the sidelines) and we have good relationships that allow for open conversations. <3 my gym!

 

[2littlegymnasts]

For the same reason I stay and watch soccer practices. I love the sport and I love to see my kids giving their all.
It's also the same as me volunteering to chaperone their field trips. They are only young once and I want to be there for them. I don't watch all of practice but I may catch 30 mins to an hour of it. Most of the time I am talking to friends, on my computer or helping clean the lobby.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[Krystan]

Why do I stay?
Because if I went home I would have no excuse for not doing housework.

This! Really though, I do get more work done at the gym when I don't have housework, laundry, bills, etc, to distract me.

 

[htimcj]

I don't stay as much as I used to. Now I drop off, exercise run some errands and come back for the last hour and a half or so. I stay because if I went home I would feel compelled to actually do housework . My DD really likes me to stay and watch. She doesn't constantly look for me or anything like that and I make it a point to NOT say anything to her during practice, just smile and give thumbs up. I also take the time to cross stitch and talk with adults. I teach 1-3 grades so is nice to talk to adults! I also only have 1 child and DH works until her practice is over so no need to get dinner early. Plus I love to watch her learn new skills. Right now is my favorite time to watch because they are starting to really training the next set of skills. For example I watched her connect her back walk over back handspring on the low beam, try out a variety of jump sequences for beam and her first tries at a standing back tuck off the beam. I am hoping to see her first attempts at a giant and back layout this week. I love to see the joy learning these new skills bring to her. Now as the season progresses I watch less and then watch more close to competition season.

 

[sjm2b3]

First reason I like to stay--I love to watch them! They are so happy in there, and when they learn something new it is so neat to watch them bounce up and down!

Second reason--I work from home so I like to actually see and talk to people!

Third, and most important--both of mine have always been the youngest or close to it in their group. When DS was little (6), often the older kids would cut in line, and there were two kids who pushed him and called him names (we are no longer at that gym, but at the time, I probably would not have known the extent this happened if I didn't watch 50-60% of practices). My DD just moved up in hours and I watch to make sure she is still having fun, and again, is fitting in 'socially' as the youngest.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

What a great question .

Why do I stay? (and I am that parent who watches a lot, and my dd is now 14, I typically watch at least 5 - 10 hours a week out of a 25 hour training week). In fact, I watch as much as I can. I LOVE watching gymnastics, I love pretty much everything about it - it inspires me! And, as already stated, my dd is at gym so much, that it is a way for me to share in something she is passionate about, and really to simply be involved in her life as much as possible. Between school and gym, she is away from home A LOT.

It also allows me to be much more subjective when she complains about a coach, teammate, etc. Instead of instantly leaping to her defence, or being on her side, I can (usually) offer a much more balanced perspective - this helps keep her on track and I know (from our many conversations) that she is a driven individual with some pretty lofty goals. She needs me to support her in this way.

I wish I could say that I trust that all of the other people in her life (and I speak mainly about her coaches here, whom I adore) to always be her best advocate - but the truth of the matter is (and truly her coaches are awesome), nobody wants her to achieve her goals more than SHE does. In this, she is in (the most) charge of her own destiny. To this end, I know her best. I know her better than her coaches (who know her very well). I can read her like a book. If my insight into her psyche can help she and her coaches have better communication, then I am all for it. I can best achieve this goal through observation.

I also believe very strongly in the parent/coach/athlete triangle - I think without the participation/interaction/communication of all, there is less chance of achieving the athlete's goals.

Yes, I do stay at the gym for the social aspect too. It definitely is my downtime (I would much rather sit there watching than going out for lunch), and as she daytrains for the most part, it doesn't take away from my time with my other child.

But mostly I stay because I am interested in helping my daughter persue and achieve her goals - and I really believe that if I can manage to maintain my objectivity (and sometimes it is a challenge, lol), I can be a great asset to her.

As you have probably ascertained, my situation may be a bit different than that of some of the other parents for whom gymnastics is not an all encompassing entity, lol. We are also not in the U.S., and most clubs in our country are non-profit, and not privately owned - this also changes the game a bit when it comes to parents expectations of what a club can/will provide to each athlete, and what the coaches' own goals are.

And yes, I have some control issues

This is me to a tee. We used to live 35 minutes away, so I always stayed. This year,we moved closer (7 minute drive), so while I'm there far less, I'm still there more than most. I'm probably there 6 of 16 hours.

DH is getting a bit older (8) and sometimes asks me not to come. I oblige. But it seems that whenever I do, she comments how she wishes I'd been there to see x or y. I've come to really love the sport. I have made some great friends who have similar interests, similar kids, etc.

I love her, and I love the sport. Why wouldn't I watch if she doesn't mind?

 

[gymboymom]

I watch for all the reasons mentioned. I love seeing ds get new skills, or even work hard to learn something. So much more fun than watching meets. At our old gym it was a great social time for me, and it definitely gets me out of doing house work! I don't stay much anymore. I try to just get there a little early to watch, but also to get to know the other gym parents.

 

[flgymmom]

I don't stay for the entire practice. My DD practices for about 3.5 and we can only watch on TV monitors so depending on where/what they are doing in the gym we can only see on a limited basis.

But I normally go back to the gym for the last 1 hour of practice. I go back for a few reasons.
* I love watching my DD. I love seeing the new things she is learning, I love seeing her get through the things that she is struggling with. I love it when she says, Mom did you see me do ________, and I can say Yes.
* I also like to be able to get to know the other parents. They are in and out throughout this time and it is nice to build this relationship with these other families.
* I also like watching the other gymnasts. I love seeing the kids in higher levels and learning what they are doing.

 

[TXCB2004]

When mine hits even a 2 hour practice day I will be outta there!!!! Gonna get my nails done and shop lol

 

[gwenmom]

And after today it may be time to stop watching. To little chalk and to much power equals unintended 'flyaway' on bars instead of the back hip circle she was going for. My heart stopped for a second. Of course she hit the mat and rolled, sat up with a grin and said 'I'm ok.' Now if I could just figure out why a small scrap involves tears and band aids and flying off bars gets a grin.

 

[Mom2Brats]

My 11 yr old L8 does and always has loved having me watch practice. I almost never can because I have younger kids and it's just too hard but every few months if my husband is home, I will stay and watch the entire 4 hr practice because it makes her happy. Which is one of the reasons I took up knitting.

 

[OzZee]

And after today it may be time to stop watching. To little chalk and to much power equals unintended 'flyaway' on bars instead of the back hip circle she was going for. My heart stopped for a second. Of course she hit the mat and rolled, sat up with a grin and said 'I'm ok.' Now if I could just figure out why a small scrap involves tears and band aids and flying off bars gets a grin.

Oh that would be because 'but mum, it was just like flying for a moment' - well that was what my dd told me when I picked her up to be told by the coach she'd taken a spill on bars.

So to those that stay at practice, do you have other children??

I don't stay unless it's under an hour (I do have kids doing different training times at the same gym so there is some overlap) and having to get somewhere closer than going home to fetch another child. I don't think I could sit through a whole 3/4 hour training even with a book/computer etc, I get restless too easily.
But I don't have the option anyway as I have other kids who all have activities/friends/training/homework etc etc.
Luckily our gym is 10 mins away (and most of the other activities are also in the 5-15 minute travel time) so whilst it's expensive I can spend hours just driving in circles, lol.

 

[my4buffaloes]

"So to those that stay at practice, do you have other children??"

Yes, I have 4 children. 2 of them in gymnastics, but they never overlap. If and when I stay (every few weeks, but sometimes a couple of times in a week) it is because we have nothing more pressing going on AND I have a lot of work I can do (I work from home). Usually though practice is over the dinner hour and I have a family to feed so I go home, cook dinner, and go back. We have some carpool help so I don't have to go every single day so that helps.

 

[GymBee97]

I don't stay anymore but she is going on 16 yo. Now that I don't have to drop off and pick up I don't stay. I do the drop off and hubby does the pick up. I will watch for a bout 30 usually its just the warm ups but I want to see what these coaches are doing or not doing. I want to see my DD interact with her team. On the few days I might stay It's more for me I love to see my DD achieve things but I also love to socialize with the other parents etc at the gym.

When DD was L4 - L5 and even L6 I stayed the whole time. I didn't watch the whole time I was there but I was there working on craft projects, reading a book, doing bills, etc. She was young and I wasn't ready to give my 6yo to a coach I didn't know well for 15 - 20 hours a week without me looking on to see If I approved. from L4 - L6 there were alot of coaching changes. We would be told "Oh this coach is outstanding" then when they leave we were told "Oh this coach was nothing but issues" which we never saw. So I would stay to try to see what they would say were the issues. A few were true but most seemed to be more a personality conflict with the owner and the coach.

No matter what reasons everyone gives - The biggest reason we stay is we LOVE YOU!! Our children will always be our children even when they are 50 yo and we will always want to be there too for those accomplisments they have as an adult too. As parents no matter how old you are we are alway proud of you and will always be there to help you pick your self up if you need it or give you that pat on the back to give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Its all part of being a parent and when you have children of your own you will totally get this.

 

[wallinbl]

DD likes for us to watch. She loves to tell us what she did and ask if we saw it. I used to watch more of practice, but now that it's 17 hours/week, I generally watch the last 20-30 minutes of practice a few times per week (I pick up in the carpool, plus the beginning of practice generally involves boring stuff like stretching). If she has a private lesson, I'll watch that, as there's usually a lot more going on in a small amount of time.

 

[Gymnast_Tor]

I just got my drivers license, so now I can drive myself, but my mom used to stay for EVERY practice. Then my dad came, and that was embarrassing. Since I am a level 2 almost 3, running and warming up with kids a foot shorter than you can be embarrassing. My mom got the message and eventually went grocery shopping or sat in the car and read during my practices. Meets is a different thing, though. They HAVE to stay for those. If you have an older DD, then it might get embarrassing for them if you stay like it got for me.