Parents Grumpy coach- is this normal?

[Twinmom]

I've seen a particular coach at our gym a few times (while my girls are in class or open gym) having private lessons with different girls (who all look to be around 6 or so). This coach is young, in her early twenties. Every time I've seen her with a kid, she looks miserable. She never smiles, she rolls her eyes, she is not particularly encouraging or kind. My husband even commented on her grouchiness with a child last time we were at open gym (and he's not one to pay attention to those kinds of things usually )
i just wonder, is this normal for a coach? My girls are still in rec classes and their coaches are lovely. But as I think about them getting more involved in gymnastics, things like this really concern me. Obviously lots of parents are paying (lots of $) for their (very young) children to spend time with this person. I'm sure she is an effective coach, but I just couldn't see subjecting my kid to that kind of behavior intentionally!
My son is involved on martial arts & has had several 'private' lessons with his teacher. His teacher is firm, but kind, encouraging, and respectful. I would want & expect that if I am paying for my kids to learn something. Right?
Is this just one grumpy coach or do you find this a lot in the competitive gymnastics world? Are the coaches generally 'tougher' than in other sports?

 

[Faith]

My motto is if the kid isn't having fun they're not going to learn anything, even if they do stick with it. Applies to school, gymnastics, piano, everything.

So having said that, some people can come across differently. My DD had a ballet teacher once all the parents were scared to death of- think old school dancer . My DD didn't have her often so I wasn't worried, but once after class I thought to ask DD (duh!) what she thought of this teacher, and whether she liked her classes. Her response was totally positive, loved her, good fun, wished she had her all the time...

So if otherwise you like the gym and it's philosophy overall, I wouldn't worry until your DD comes into direct contact with her. Then see if they gel or not- some kids like a certain type of coach, and everyone coaches differently. My DD really likes "the tough coach", where her friend doesn't and prefers another's style.

Plus coach turnover IME is fairly high- as you move through groups, as coaches leave...In summary, I definately agree that coaches should make gym enjoyable, but I don't think I'd by gym shopping if it's just one coach you're unsure of, especially if they aren't coaching your DD's...

 

[MaryA]

DD had a coach like this once... always looked like she would rather be anywhere BUT at the gym. We're not at that gym anymore (this coach was a small part of a much larger issue). Of course, I have known people who appear to be mean and scary but, once you get to know them, you find that this is not the case, so I would say not to judge her before you get to know her. However, I don't think gymnastics has more than it's share of mean or grumpy coaches. And I want coaches for my daughter who won't just teach her to be a good gymnast but who will model other traits, like having a good attitude and treating others with respect. I can honestly say that there is no coach at DD's current gym who I feel is not a good role model as well as a good coach. I'd say, if and when she becomes your daughter's coach, I'd make an attempt to get to know her, and also trust what your DD tells you about her. There is a relatively new coach at DD's gym who I had heard some complaints about. I said something about it to DD, "Suzie says that working with Coach Sarah really stresses her out. Do you ever feel that way?" (FYI, this was at a time when DD was dealing with some stress/anxiety issues, so I was digging for answers. I don't usually encourage DD to talk trash about her coaches) and DD was like, "Really? No, she's great!" Oh. O.K. then. And I never hear anything negative about her "through the grapevine" anymore. It was just the girls adjusting to a new coach. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it yet. You don't know what the future holds for your daughters or for this coach (if she's really unhappy, maybe she won't stay). But in general, I don't think gymnastics coaches are "tougher" than other sports, and I wouldn't want to be in a gym where I felt my DD was being bullied by a coach.

 

[Twinmom]

And I want coaches for my daughter who won't just teach her to be a good gymnast but who will model other traits, like having a good attitude and treating others with respect. I can honestly say that there is no coach at DD's current gym who I feel is not a good role model as well as a good coach.

This is exactly how I feel. Good to know that "grumpy" is not the norm.

 

[kwnative]

Our gym has managed to find a really great balance. They are good coaches and have very high expectations of the girls, but I can honestly say that I have never once heard a coach act "mean" or really come down hard on any of the girls. I think it is because it is modeled all the way from the head coach/owner down. Our gym hosts a meet every year, and from volunteering at that, I have seen that not all gyms treat their gymnasts in such a positive manner, and every year it just makes me even more thankful for where we are. Having said that, everyone has a bad day every now and then. I think I would wait to see if your DD ends up on a team, and see how the coaches are with them. Then you can always consider your options of other gyms if you don't like what you see.

 

[BlairBob]

Kinda get what you pay for, especially when it comes to young coaches. The girls can really have some attitudes sometimes while the guys can be pretty lazy or just unknowledgeable.

Then again, uninteresting PL are pretty unbearable by the coach. Which is why I really limit my PL so I don't feel like I'm collecting a check when doing them. Each one is special with a big focus on what we are doing not just doing more of the same stuff.

As well, I almost never take rec kids for PL unless they want to attain new skills for tumbling/cheer.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

Sometimes I wonder why grumpy people choose to work with kids- one of the hardest jobs in the world if you don't like them Grumpy coaches is not the norm, in my experience anyway. Just like "bad" teachers your kids can get "bad" coaches sometimes.