Parents new to team practices-stressed out 5 year old.

[Libby's gym mom]

My dd has just turned 7 . The difference from rec to squad us immense . I'm in the uk and think it's me more than dd that finds the pressure immense. And sometimes I can find myself enforcing it at home when I shouldn't be !! She's the youngest squad member and they're keen to pressure her a little as she has 12 months on others in her group " meaning here they can't compete till he year they turn 8 " . We are not allowed to stay for her 9hrs training she does each week , so I rely on talking to her coach about any problems she has . She gets very upset at home if she can't perfect a particular skill, sometimes refusing to even try !! She has a very high expectation of herself too !!

 

[Natasha]

I agree with Seeker. Make it fun at age 5. She may like the idea of competing, but really, all through meet season they will be doing the nitpicky job of getting details right. It is one thing to correct form on skills, but if they are spending lot of time trying to get arms in the right place for the prancy thing in the dance, it really is not going to benefit her at all for her gymnastics development and she will get bored. A good pre-team program will continue to work on correct skill development without wasting time memorizing routines and hand positions, etc.

 

[Daffodil]

My daughter (who will be 5 this month) has done gymnastics and LOVED it since she was 2 1/2. She has finished one year in a preteam class and just last week began training for level 2 competition. She has always always been ecstatic to go to class, and constantly practiced at home. She is extremely motivated to learn new things (ie: hours a day independently working on her back handspring on a mattress in the living room floor, sit-ups on her own, etc.). She has attended 2 meets as a spectator and has been looking forward all year to competing herself! Her coaches are wonderful and always very positive with the kids! However, she has stated a couple of times since starting her team practices that she doesn't want to go to gymnastics anymore. Lately, since they have been learning routines, and trying to really perfect their skills-the coaches have been pointing out every detail ( slightly bend legs, etc.) to bring to the kids' attention what they need to change. She is getting stressed and emotional about it-feeling that they "hate her gymnastics" and don't think she is doing well. She feels like she is getting in trouble and that their pointers are "mean and bossy." I watch the practices and can tell you that the coaches are as kind and positive as they can be, but yes--are definitely pointing out EVERYTHING they see to help the kids learn the correct way to do each skill. Is there a way I can explain to her their reason for this, and to help her just listen, learn, and enjoy her practices?? (And to understand why everything is getting detail oriented) Or is she just not ready for this kind of training, maybe needs another year of fun rec classes? This has totally blindsided me-and I'm not sure how best to handle it as a mom.

My daughter started in a "pre-TOPS" group at age 4. Up until then, she had loved gymnastics. This group met 7.5 hours per week and she absolutely hated it. We dropped her back down to an "old" regular level 2, and have taken things slow and steady ever since. She is now 7, still loves gymnastics, and will be competing the new Level 4 this season. She can now handle correction much better, understands what the coach is asking of her and can apply it, and doesn't take it personally. I think sometimes, for the really young kids, their skill ability simply exceeds their emotional readiness for true competitive gymnastics training. There is plenty of time, and it should be fun at age 5 IMHO. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Too much, too fast, and too young. Don't even try to make it work.

YEP. this is why i consistently post that 5 is too young to compete. 7 is good, but many are not emotionally ready at that age either.

 

[billise]

It's a fine line when they are that young. My DD competed level 3 last season as a 6 year old and did great emotionally. But my DD (who has 2 older siblings that she's constantly trying to keep up with) has never bought into the idea being the baby of the family so she didn't believe she was only 6

From the time she moved to pre-team at age 5 we have constantly evaluated whether it's "too much" and I wouldn't hesitate to back off even now that she's 7, if I thought she was stressed.

 

[LJL07]

If it's USAG level 2, I agree with the coaches saying too young. The skills aren't necessarily too advanced for a 5 yr old, but the form nit picking to death for competition purposes will be frustrating for many very young children.

As far as the practicing skills outside of the gym, good luck. I have a VERY high energy child who has been flipping on her bed since she was barely 3. She doesn't walk from place to place--she cartwheels, walkovers, etc from place to place. Yes, they shouldn't practice skills outside of the gym, but it's very difficult to enforce it with my energetic one. I have warned her, threatened her, etc. I don't think she can help herself. It's gotten to where I choose my battles, esp if safety is an issue. I sympathize!

 

[3LittleGymmies]

I think that a five year old shouldn't be stressed out about anything in life. It's just not worth it. If she has natural talent, she will have no issue trying team (level 2 would be considered pre-team here, though) again in another year or two. She won't be behind. I have a just-turned 6 year old gymmie, but she is extremely mature and mentally tough for her age. Most of the girls that she was on pre-team with (5-6) were a good mix of immature, stressed out, defiant and wild. I guess that I just don't get the point of that... surely it can't be that productive and I am not sure that it's worth the time or money, either.

 

[Mom2Chickadee]

I think 5 year olds and "hard" gymnastics (my DD term for it) is a true roller coaster ride. My DD is also 5 and started with her pre-team (6 hour group) in December. She has a lot of great qualities in gymnastics (being "teachable" and taking corrections, I'm told are big bonuses for her), but her strength is her tough point. It has taken her, at least, twice as long as the others to master climbing to the top of the ropes but she's finally gotten it. The problem now is her coaches expect "one more rope" every time, so about a month ago when she was told "one more rope" and she just couldn't do it her coach made her stay to keep working on it while the others moved on to another station. Like you mentioned, I think the world of both DD's coaches and I don't think her coach realized how upset she was about being kept behind b/c DD refused to cry until she got out of the gym. This devestated her and for two weeks she hated going to gym and would cry every time I took her. Finally her coach took her aside and had a good talk with her about why she was crying going into the gym now, and DD told her that she found ropes really hard. The coaches have backed off a bit with the "pushing" on ropes, and now that they are on the same page she's having much more success, b/c the pressure is off.

Our situation is a bit different, but talking with her coach really helped DD and helped her coach understand that DD is still just 5 and too much pressure is not good for anyone. Perhaps a one-on-one talk with your DD coaches will help her see why they're making corrections and, in turn, the coaches will approach your DD in a way that works better with her learning style.

 

[my4buffaloes]

How long has it been? There will always be an adjustment period of a few weeks when moving to a new group, new coaches, new hours. That being said, is there anyway she can stay with this group but not compete?

 

[lhmom]

Honestly, if I were you I would talk to the coaches and maybe pull her back. As others have said, there is absolutely no reason for a 5 yr. old to be stressed about gymnastics. Competing level 2 is really not necessary to being successful in the sport and at 5, she ought to be excited about learning new things, imo. And this is coming from a mom who had her daughter join team at 6 to compete the old level 4 (new 3). I finally let her start after much hesitation and a long talk with the HC about her readiness. You know your child the best-if you feel like she's not ready to handle competitive gymnastics yet, talk to the coaches. If you feel like this is just a temporary adjustment issue, give her encouragement. Good luck to you both!

 

[kellyb]

I just wanted to get back to you all and say THANK YOU for all your advice! I did try some of your ideas--- I was/am great with her dropping back to her old class- but since it just seemed so out of character for her to feel negatively about practice-- I thought it would be appropriate to encourage her to feel it out for a bit longer before deciding. I did talk to her coaches and let them know what was going on. She never acted upset in practice(just to me on the way home) so they had no other way to know. They told me we'd play it by ear but that they thought she'd adjust and be fine. They said that the girls typically start to understand better about the reason for the corrections after they've been to a meet and gotten scores and awards--etc.They talked to her -- and I pointed out to her that all the other team gymnasts in her group as well as the "big girls" that she looks up to so much-are instructed and corrected in the same way-- I brought up the subject to her once- talked to her about how everyone has to learn --and let her talk through her feelings about it---She came back around to the thought that she was a little stressed- but does love gymnastics and didn't want to stop. I encouraged her to give it a try learning her routines(which she's been waiting for and excited to do for months) for a few weeks and get in the swing of the new kind practices-- then decide for sure if she wanted to compete this year. I told her it was totally fine if she decided to stay in Hot Shots for another year. But to not worry-- just to listen, learn and have fun, the next few practices- then decide. Well-- I did not bring it up again-- just listened to and watched her this past month. She has truly gone back to being completely positive about practice and about the upcoming meet season. I had almost forgotten about that tough week till the fees started to come up for competition. I asked her a few times if she was sure she wanted to do it and was excited about it and it's been a consistent "yes." SO--- here we go... I think the main issue was that she'd felt like she was getting in trouble despite trying her best. Now that she knows that's not the case- and it's just about learning- she feels much better !

 

[sce]

Thanks for the update. Glad she could work through it. She is quite young.

 

[kellyb]

She is young. I wouldn't even consider letting her compete if the coaches she has were not exceptionally good at keeping it fun. I think they have taught the girls so much this year in hot shots without the kids even realizing how hard they have been working. Now with not just skills and conditioning-- but routines, it's getting to a point where they have to be more explicit with the details. And like one of you mentioned, my daughter is just starting elementary school-- detailed instruction is new to her. But-- she's loving it again-- and as long as it's just a hard day once in a blue moon-- it's good for her to learn to overcome it. If at any point it consistently stops being fun-- then that will be another story .