Parents Parenting question involving gymnastics

[skfleming255]

Ok....so my dd has been doing rbhs for almost 2 years now. She can do a ro with her feet landing together, but when she adds the bhs, her feet are separated. Her coaches are doing their jobs (I heard them tell her at least 6 times tonight to put her feet together). I've told her when we leave practice that they shouldn't have to tell her something more than once before she corrects it. Any advice from parents and coaches as to how to handle this? It's getting very irritating; like I said, it's dd's fault, the coaches are doing their jobs.

 

[Linsul]

Well, first off it's a really really really common mistake to make! Nearly everyone spends time perfecting that part of the skill. I see our level 5, 6, and 7's still practicing them with tiny bean bags between their feet still, just to reinforce it. If she's never done it before she doesn't have a feel for the difference, so asking is great, but it doesn't give her the actual feel of the difference.

As a parent I would have her put the difference in feeling between feet together and feet apart in words. If she's not sure about it, have her do a handstand against the wall, and straddle down. Then handstand pike down. Describe the difference. Another thing you could do is have her sit in a pike with pointed toes, put your hand just beneath her knee, and run your down the length of her leg trying to get it between her ankles or toes. Have her squeeze her ankles/feet together hard to resist. Make it a game. Just keep it light and all about helping her gain awareness, not a punishment. She'll get it!

 

[Mariainlv]

Uh, as respectfully as possible, thats rather harsh. It would seem that the best course of action is to let the coaches coach and stay out of it. That doesn't seem like willful disobedience but rather a common issue with a skill.

Im not sure why this is so irritating to you? Did the coaches ask you to say something? It doesn't sound like your DD is very old and being this harshis a quick way to stamp out any joy she may have for the sport. Assigning blame in a situation like that and saying your irritated makes me wonder if maybe stepping back a little isnt a good idea?

Again, i am trying my hardest to not be abrasive but your post really struck a chord in me.

 

[gymnut1]

Very common problem - we tell ours to squeeze their knees or ankles together. That seems to help. I find younger children often find it easier to make that correction if they do their ROBHS on a trampoline or fast track. I think on the floor it is a harder skill and they are so busy with everything else it kind of goes out of the window. Nearly all children do it for a while so don't worry.

I don't know how old or what level your dd is but making a correction instantly is unrealistic. As a coach I would be looking to praise any signs that the child has made a effort to correct rather than made the correction. Mind has to tell body what to do and sometimes body just isn't quite capable yet, sometimes mind isn't either. lol. Unless your child is deliberately awkward she will not be ignoring the correction on purpose. Something is preventing her from being able to do it yet. I'm sure she will get it soon. The great thing is her coaches are not ignoring it! As a parent the most frustrating thing is to watch your dd make the same mistake time after time and it be ignored!

 

[Aussie_coach]

Sometimes the kids know what they need to fix but they don't know how and sometimes they do know how but just don't think about it.

It is a good lesson for kids to learn that they should work hard to correct something the first time they are asked, but just check and see if she can.

Perhaps it would be better to say

"I notice the coach has said many time to fix this, do you understand how to do that?"

 

[gymmom14]

My dd has the same problem. I know why it my be so frustrating to the mom in this thread. Because it is so hard to fix. My dd just competed L7 and I believe it is 2 tenths deduction every time your feet are apart. (.2 on the roundoff and .2 on the bhsp) If you do 2 back tumbling passes, that is .8 off your score. My DD finally fixed this towards the end of the season. Did 2 front tumbling passes and got her feet together on the back tumbling pass. Her scores went from 8.9 ish to 9.3.

Her coaches told her over and over. But not until drills and constant effort to remind her and fix her round off and hurdle, did she make progress.

 

[cathiann]

I'd trying just ignoring it and letting the coaches handle it. If you have to say something, remind her to follow the coaches' instructions or even ask the coach how they'd like you to reinforce it too.

 

[gymjoy]

Sometimes the kids know what they need to fix but they don't know how and sometimes they do know how but just don't think about it.

It is a good lesson for kids to learn that they should work hard to correct something the first time they are asked, but just check and see if she can.

Perhaps it would be better to say

"I notice the coach has said many time to fix this, do you understand how to do that?"

Aussie_coach has this right. It was what I thought reading the original post.

Also, many kids can not fix something with just a verbal command. They need more hands on type corrections and some drills to reinforce the basics.

That said - those things are for the COACHES to do unless they ask you to have dd work on something at home. I can not imagine, or would I want a coach, who asked dd to work on anything at home besides stretching and maybe wall handstands.

If your dd is afraid to ask the coach for more help, then I suggest talking briefly with coach before or after the next practice. Say something like - I noticed you asked dd to keep her feet together several times on her bhs, and that she couldn't seem to get it. I'm not sure she knows how to do what your asking.

See what they say - or hopefully, what they do...

 

[my4buffaloes]

I am sure if it were that easy your dd would fix it. But it sounds like it isn't. This issue is one of the reasons we left our old gym. Being told to do it and being told to do it again won't fix the problems. The gymnast needs to be taught how. They need to be told how to fix the problems (trying to hold a bean bag between their ankles is a great way) and given strategies to try, not just to do it. Clearly if she could do it, it would happen, I am sure she isn't trying to defy the coaches. Good luck!

 

[3stars]

Could you ask the coach for a few minutes after practice & have him/her stop her through the bh to show her where her feet are? I know my daughter's coaches frequently keep one kid or another after class to work on a skill one-on-one. Usually when it is broken down like that it is corrected pretty quickly (at least that is what it looks like from the peanut gallery ) I know my daughter sometimes has the problem of thinking she is doing what she is asked, but until they show her and she feels that she is doing it wrong, she can't correct it.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

If a younger gymnast is told to “stop playing on the beam when you’re supposed to be moving matsâ€￾ more than once, I’d say that’s a time for a gentle reminder from mom that she needs to listen to her coaches better.

But if a child isn’t getting a skill, it’s not necessarily a listening problem.
The only times I have gotten involved as a parent is if my child is getting frustrated and I think she needs something she’s not getting at the gym. Pickle is a pleaser (as many gymnasts are) and sometimes she’s afraid to say to her coach “I don’t understandâ€￾ or “my wrists hurt when I do that – what am I doing wrong?â€￾ if I think that’s happening, I will talk to her after practice and see if she needs to ask her coach for clarification (e.g., “when I flip over, my legs naturally split apart… how can I keep them together?â€￾ ).

When she was first learning backhandspring, Pickle did have some wrist pain. I told her to mention it to her coaches but I also did a quick internet search and saw that this is often caused by too wide a hand placement. I asked her if her coaches ever talked to her about her hand placement and she said “yesâ€￾. I told her that might be what was causing her wrists to hurt. She practiced the correct placement at home doing handstand pops and the wrist pain she experienced doing the skill went away almost immediately. Yes, it would have been better for her to talk to her coach directly about this, but sometimes it’s hard for a 6 yo perfectionist who worships her coach to admit she’s having trouble with something.

As Pickle has gotten older, her ability to ask questions or seek help when she’s having a problem both to her coaches and in other situations has definitely improved. In fact, it’s one of the things that I credit gymnastics with.

 

[Blackie6]

Have to just agree with some other posts, she may not be able to "correct" it yet. My DD took quite awhile to fix this (age 6 when she started) and 3 yrs later it was worth the wait, she has a lovely ROBHS and even into the 2nd BHS or into a BT. I found that the first yr of L4 was learning the routines and the second year was about correcting her form on skills. Some kids pick it up quickly, other like my DD needed the extra time to mature and understand what the correction were and try to fix. Can you videotape her and SHOW her what she is doing wrong? Does coach have any drills that she could do w/you DD to allow her to feel what it is like to have legs together and body tighter? Maybe standing BHS using the big rubber bands or trying to keep a foam pit block between legs?

 

[skfleming255]

DD is almost 10 years old. She has been known to not give 100% at practice before (quite often). I thought that might be the issue. Obviously, I didn't explain myself well enough in the original post. I have talked to her about slacking at practice, and I thought this could be the problem. She is very mental about her gymnastics. She needs someone to tell her what they expect from her and not just in passing as she moves to the next station. If the coaches tell her what is expected, she normally will pull thru; but like a lot of young kids, if they don't clearly know the expectations, they will do as little as possible to just GET BY. We have recently changed gyms within the last few months, and the coaches don't really know her personality well enough yet. Anyways, I guess it is jsut my frustration with the situation b/c my dd is extremely smart, and I would LOVE for her to expect more from herself.

 

[bogwoppit]

As a mom of a child who was very smart but lacks internal drive I have leanred, over many years, that you cannot make them want to do better. They have to find it themselves, or learn to live with the fact that despite being smart they are happy to accept being mediocre! Harsh but true.

 

[bookworm]

You're paying for the coaches to coach....so let them and back off. I agree with Mariainlv that your response does seem a bit heavy handed for a parent...maybe you need to stop watching the practices so you won't be so frustrated and maybe then your daughter might not feel the pressure of disappointing you....in other words, just be her mom...

 

[ginnymac]

As a mom of a child who was very smart but lacks internal drive I have leanred, over many years, that you cannot make them want to do better. They have to find it themselves, or learn to live with the fact that despite being smart they are happy to accept being mediocre! Harsh but true.

I have to agree with this. I am also mom to one such child. It is difficult (especially when that is not how I operate), but I think that all you can do is try encouraging doing your personal best in everything that you do. I also think that once this type of child/person finds something that they *really* love, they will want to put forth more effort. I do find that to be the case with my child.

If I were you, I'd back off and let the coaches coach.

 

[Linsul]

I feel for this parent. I didn't read it as irritation directed at her DD. I read it as irritation with the situation. She's had robh for 2 years she said. This parent could be easily irritated at not having a coach able to fix this in that time period. That's a long time to go with a bad habit, and the longer they last, generally the harder they are to fix. We also don't know if the coach is involving her by bringing it up all the time in conversation. A parent that only knows something isn't right, not how to fix it, may stumble or fumble their words but have good intentions and need to vent along the way. Cb to the rescue says I!

 

[Mariainlv]

I would disagree Linsul. Only because OP phrased it as a parenting question and said that the coaches are doing their job but DD wont correct the issue. Hence the reasonI suggested that the parent step back and allow the sport to be her daughters.

 

[Linsul]

I would disagree Linsul. Only because OP phrased it as a parenting question and said that the coaches are doing their job but DD wont correct the issue. Hence the reasonI suggested that the parent step back and allow the sport to be her daughters.

I'm not trying to be contentious here at all, but I'm going to phrase some things that may come off snarky just because I can't see a way around it.

The mom is saying the coaches are doing their job, but are what are her qualifications to make that statement? I could tell someone to do something all day in the gym and not be doing my job. There's more to the job than speaking, and nothing else was mentioned which makes me wonder. I don't know the coaches, but I do have many years of experience with teaching the same skill. In my opinion, 2 years is excessive to be consistently making that mistake if the rest of the skill is proficient.

She did ask the question in the parent forum for help. She got help. Backing off is great advice, assigning targets of her irritation where she did not is judgment. Anything that involves children and money is bound to have irritation inducing side effects. Until a poster actually says point blank 'I'm irritated with DD/DS because they can't do a skill' I'm not going to make that leap for them. I wouldn't assume it in face to face conversation, definitely not doing it on the internet.

 

[Mariainlv]

We can agree to disagree.

I've told her when we leave practice that they shouldn't have to tell her something more than once before she corrects it. Any advice from parents and coaches as to how to handle this? It's getting very irritating; like I said, it's dd's fault, the coaches are doing their jobs.

To me, reading the above it would seem clear she is irritated that her daughter is not correcting a skill despite the fact that the coaches are making the correction. Assigning fault with her DD implies to me that she is irritated with her. Her follow up statements about her DD not being fully motivated would support this line of thinking..

But our side discussion is not related to the OP so I will bow out here..