Acceptable reason to give coaches for switching gyms?

[dancengym]

I thought of just posting this to coaches and/or gym owners, but I believe there are a lot of parents and gymnasts, etc., who may have great insight in the matter.

If you were a coach/gym owner and a gymnast you feel you've invested more personal effort because you believed she had promise decides to switch gyms.

1) Would you be upset/offended? What would you do? And/or how would you handle it?

2) What reason or explanation from the gymnast that would make the departure a friendly one and keep the doors open for the gymnast to return to your gym?

 

[gymcoach26]

It's always sad when a gymnast moves on but the best thing you can do it be honest.

 

[10.0]

1) Yes I would be upset, but it has happened before and will happen again. What would I do? Honestly wish them well and let it go.

2) I guess I would be less upset if there was a logical reason (schedule, closer to home) but in the end like the above poster mentioned it is best to be honest and frankly even though it can get personal as far as coaches getting attached to gymnats and the like it is still a business first no one wants to see money walk out the door and if that person ever decides to come back most gyms would welcome the money right back in.

 

[gymnut1]

It is best to be honest especially if it is for family or financial reasons. If your move is due to problems at the gym it is best to couch these in polite impersonal language. Eg dont say 'you never practise routines til a week before a meet so she doesn't look polished' say 'my dd finds it hard to learn routines quickly and needs a gym that learns and polishes routines over a long period of time'. That way the gym will feel less defensive and is more likely to part with you on friendly terms.

Good luck. I think it is natural for coaches to feel rejected and abit sad when a gymnast leaves.

 

[marie83]

As others have said, I'd prefer to be told the truth - I am a coach and a co-gym owner and if parents don't tell us the truth, it's hard for us to make changes.

Examples of why some of our gymnasts have left:

Too far to travel and there is a club closer to home - we couldn't do anything about that but at least we know!

One of our coaches changed a gymnast's floor routine the week before a comp and she forgot it at the comp = not a happy parent - Now all of our coaches know that even if they aren't happy with a routine, DO NOT CHANGE IT!

Gymnast liked the leotard of the other club better!!! Yes, that was truly the reason given although I suspect it was more that the club she switched to was much better equipped than ours and they are one of our region's top clubs, so more likely to win medals. We see her at all our comps and she often tells us she wishes she had never switched as our club was a much happier place! I guess with the info she gave us we could have upgraded our leo, but one of our philosophies as a club is to be affordable so we don't change our leotards too often.

Gymnast didn't feel that she could achieve her goals at our gym for a few reasons - she wanted to be elite and we didn't have a pit, our training hours were not flexible, and our coaches weren't qualified highly enough - all things we wanted to change but couldn't at the time. We actually encouraged the move as the club she wanted to go to is one of the country's top clubs. Sadly due to reasons beyond her control she only stayed with the other club for 18 months. She is now back training with us.

The most common reason is that our gym is too far from home - This comes from the fact that in our county there are only 3 competitive clubs. There is ours, then another 8 miles away, then another 31 miles away.
The majority of competitive clubs are in the main closest city, which is 16 miles away, so all in all quite a way to travel considering gymnasts don't finish school until 3.30 and most clubs start training at 4.30/5.00! Most of our competitive gymnasts have to travel around 30 mins to get to gym at that time of day and it ends up being too much, especially for the younger ones!

In conclusion - just be honest - yes the coaches will probably be upset, but it is best to tell them the truth so that they can potentially do something about the problem. If they don't know, they may continue to lose gymnasts for the same reason.

 

[gymcoach34]

I think you should just tell them you decided to go somewhere else. Kids come & go, and even though we miss them, there are always more kids to train!

 

[nettyinpa]

When Olivia left her previous gym I told them where we were going, at her insistance. And I also told them some of the reasons why. Of course they tried to talk us into staying, saying they'll make changes for her, etc. All of it I knew was total BS. They also tried to make us change our minds by talking down the new gym, saying bad things about it and how their biggest mistake was keeping their doors open. I was like, okay, how old are we?? How unprofessional.

Since we left things have gotten worse at the old gym so we made the right decision. It also makes it easier for the gymnast to learn that you need to be honest in situations like that and that you're doing what's best for her.

 

[gymgramma]

It is always best to tell the truth

 

[cisceal]

I think that it is best to be honest just so that they can improve the things that they were doing wrong. I have had a lot of expierience switching gyms for various reasons, and my coaches always seem to appriciate honesty the best.

 

[Tuduri]

Honesty is a two way street.

My daughter's coach and I have been honest with one another and I've kept my daughter at the same gym for the last 6 years. Honesty is a two way street. I've told the coach what I think and she has told me what she thinks. We haven't always agreed. More often than not, she has been correct, though I think we have both compromised on issues over the years. Lately, the last two years, I've learned to stay out of it, recognizing I am the lay person and she is the coach.

Julio Garcia,
Jamy's dad

 

[gym law mom]

Our HC(I guess former now) can't handle honesty. Can't deal with the fact that he has coaches that are not trained to be teaching and spotting high level gymnasts---so he ignores it. Unfortunately one day someone will get seriously hurt and then he'll wonder why it happened.

 

[Midget's Dad]

I think the only way to handle something like this is up front, honest, and in person.

Yes it might be uncomfortable, but as long as you take the high road you can keep your head up as you go forward, and when you run into those coaches and ex-teammates (and their parents) again.

We moved gyms and I think we made the right choice. But we are still friendly with the owner of the old gym and all the girls (and parents) as well. And I really think the fact that we handled everything face to face and honestly has a lot to do with that.

 

[bookworm]

Be Careful...

I would be very careful when making a gym change...some coaches will be professional and act like adults when you tell them you are moving gyms and others will lash out at you and your daughter, even if the reason is justified...so I would tread lightly on this. The only reason that was acceptable to the HC and owner at our old gym was relocation and anything else was met with nasty behavior on the part of the gym.

We have moved twice...once when she was very young and we moved from a tiny gym and we still have a very friendly relationship with that gym and the coaches when we see them around. And the second time was a nightmare...if I had to do it again with them, I would email them after we were gone...sounds harsh but you live and learn....and before anyone thinks that it came to that out of nowhere, I had been "problem solving" (or not , as the case may be) with the coaches for 1-2 years prior and it finally reached the breaking point ..so the issues were definitely out there and we didn't just leave on a whim....on a positive note, it has been the best thing we ever did and we haven't looked back!! As a parent. you know in your gut when it's time to move..

 

[dancengym]

Alas, honesty is not an option if I want the doors left open for a return. I am not making my daughter out to be anyone special, but every single gymnast who has left our gym (and a lot have left), were met with disdain and animosity. The only ones who have left with some semblance of civility were because of location and completely leaving the sport. I believe they love what they do and feel that maybe they think they put too much of themselves that the hurt goes too deep. I don't know. But I do realize that there really is no other or easy way. I am just so scared to make a change and find out we made the wrong decision. I think it is so hard to find a perfect gym/coach/gymnast fit unless you look. I am well aware of the grass is always greener. Hence my hesitation. But we have some troubling and "real" issues in our gym. I've stuck around because the gym is 5 minues away. It is the only gym we've known and she has some really great friends there. And I feel the fun issue is a big part. Thanks for all your responses.

 

[10.0]

Well then you have 3 choice

1) Stick it out at your gym, if you are so worried about being able to come back it couldn't be that bad and you can try and resolve any issues you have with them.

2) Tell the truth and deal with what ever the outcome may be.

3) lie through your teeth and hope you don't get caught, it might be really weird when they see you at a comp or something with your dd on another team. Plus I don't know how large of a town you live in but stuff like that spreads fast and lies usually fall apart.

You have a hard decision to make good luck.

 

[cher062]

the best acceptable reason is the TRUTH!

a made up reason to keep feeling from bewing hurt, or to make things easier for you, the owners, the coach etc are never a good thing.

I know if I were an owner/coach I really would hope that any family moving to another gym would be very honest with me so I can fix the issue if possible.

Just be calm, objective and tell the truth and move on to hopefully a better situation.

 

[cher062]

Alas, honesty is not an option if I want the doors left open for a return. I am not making my daughter out to be anyone special, but every single gymnast who has left our gym (and a lot have left), were met with disdain and animosity. The only ones who have left with some semblance of civility were because of location and completely leaving the sport. I believe they love what they do and feel that maybe they think they put too much of themselves that the hurt goes too deep. I don't know. But I do realize that there really is no other or easy way. I am just so scared to make a change and find out we made the wrong decision. I think it is so hard to find a perfect gym/coach/gymnast fit unless you look. I am well aware of the grass is always greener. Hence my hesitation. But we have some troubling and "real" issues in our gym. I've stuck around because the gym is 5 minues away. It is the only gym we've known and she has some really great friends there. And I feel the fun issue is a big part. Thanks for all your responses.

Honestly my question would be if things are so bad you feel the need to leave then why would you ever consider going back. If you would consider going back then the issue should be able to be resolved before you leave with some honest communication.

Its ok to "try the new gym out" for a week or so. Take a week off from your current gym and do a week or so at a new gym and see what your DD thinks. When we left our old gym we took a day or two at several gyms to try it out first then we made the decision and it was the best move I ever made for my DD. She had good friends at the old gym and we still keep in touch with them and now she has a whole new group of gym friends to add to that. She is so much happier now that we have moved and she is doing so much better. Don't endure just because its 5 min away.

 

[flipper's fan]

You need to be careful about trying a new gym if you are worried about your gym finding out. Some gyms have contracts that you sign when you join the team, and in the contract there may be a clause that you will not go to another gym during the competetive season or you will be dropped from the team. Our old gym had one, and no one read it until the owner found out they tried out or took privates at another gym and were told not to come back. You were allowed to gym shop between June 1 and September 1 then you signed your contract. Several parents at our old gym found out the hard way. The gym owner always found out about kids going to other gyms. The kids are often the ones who innocently mention it to their coach or teammates.

There is a whole thread about this in the parent forum, where a family tried another gym and were told not to come back. It doesn't sound like they had a contract or anything, just the owner getting upset.

 

[bookworm]

Our old gym put a GPS (which attaches quite nicely to the underside of your car and you don't even know it!!) on cars of people they were suspicious of and that's how they would find out...

 

[gymcoach34]

Really Bookworm? I think you are kidding (I am really gullible!)