WAG Mom getting upset at L3 workout schedule - with L2's!

[GymnastMomX2]

I didn't read all the replies but this was normal at our old gym. My daughter competed level 4 and worked out one day a week with the 5s, some of the 3s worked out an extra day with the 4s and some of the 4/5s that were ahead got to work out with the optional team 1-2 days a week. Confusing for sure.

 

[MILgymFAM]

It has been fairly common in all our gyms, past and present, for groups to be multi level. Currently ODD trains with gold and platinums, and then levels 4 and 5. YDDs training group is levels 3-6, but that's for T&T.

 

[skschlag]

Our gym will make some exceptions for siblings to avoid parents having to drive back and forth or spend all day at the gym. They will let one practice up. It is pretty common at our gym to have more than one level in a workout group....

 

[Flossyduck]

This happens in our gym and I can empathise. It's not quite the same situation - Girls doing the same level are trained differently. My dd is one of the ones on the lower hours. Most of the time I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes, when she is being got at for not being as polished on a skill as someone else, or for taking longer to get something, I want to scream. Of course it's going to take her longer and of course she won't be as polished and then she won't score as well.

My dd is fully aware that other girls get more hours and more attention at the same level (and I'm talking out of age girls here too, so not just the in age ones). She finds it very hard. She works very hard and wants to do her best but the playing field is far from level.

As I said, it's a bit different, but I'm guessing we share the whole mixed up confused, illogical, unjust, feeling that I want to do something but my hands are tied is hard!

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

Both my kids train in multi level and multi age groups, one from level 3-9 the other from level 3-7. The ages across these groups are from 7yrs to 19 yrs. Also the division within these groups can be fairly fluid and vary from day to day.
I understand your frustration, it is hard to watch your child practising with a group that is 2 or 3 levels below them and not think "why is the coach holding her back?"

At the end of the day I trust that the coach has my child's best interests at heart as well as the interests of every other child and parent in the gym. Even within a level not all the gymnasts will be equal in skill and ability, For example the girl who is strong at bars but struggles with beam will benefit from being in a group that is focusing on beam skills that day, her teammate who always stays on the beam but still tends to have a weak kip will benefit from working in the group that are focusing on kips. Same level gymnasts, but not necessarily in their best interests to always be in the same training group. While there are times that I arrive at the end of practice and see groupings that don't make sense to me I just try to remember that the coach is doing his best to juggle a group of girls and get the best from all of them.

Hopefully this is only a temporary arrangement for your DD, I don't understand why when she is with the level 2 group she can't practice the level 3 routines? In my kids gym if the coach waited until everyone in the training group was the same level before running through routines it would just never happen!

 

[Committed]

I find it odd that she is practicing "down", but it sounds more common in other gyms. Ours does very few "mixed-ability" groups. Even those are just because of numbers or transitions. And the girls affected generally practice exclusively with that 1 group (up a level), not different groups.

 

[MaryA]

I'm with COz on this one. Your gym is trying to offer the best possible solution for all the girls plus the gym staff. Rather than just saying, "we don't have room in the level 3/4 group for these talented level 2's, so we'll just leave them where they are" they're trying to make it work for them. No solution can be 100% perfect for everyone involved. And I hate to say that their scores in level 3 don't matter... I know they matter to you and maybe to your daughter (or maybe not) but in the long term of her gymnastics "career", it just does't matter. It sounds like your DD is a talented young gymnast and 4 extra hours per month is not going to matter at all in her long-term development. I think that she will take her cues from you. If you say, "the coaches know you're good enough to be a level 3, but they want to make sure you still have time to be with your level 2 friends and working on your basics" she'll go with it. If you tell her, "practicing with those level 2 girls is a waste of your time", that's what she'll believe (and then it will be). As for being with her teammates, really, they're ALL her teammates. She will likely compete, at some point along the journey, with some of those girls who are level 2's now and with some who are level 5's now. It will change from year to year as some speed through levels and others develop fears or injuries. So for her to feel like those level 3 girls are her only "teammates" in the gym is not going to help her long term either.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I couldn't have said it better than you Mary.

 

[LJL07]

I think it's actually really nice that they are willing to let the girls train with the level 3's. My dd and one of her teammates are both level 2's and definitely ready to progress to working with the lev 3's even if they compete as 2's through the season. Our gym offered a similar plan to dd and teammate, but then took the offer away bc they didn't want to rock the boat. It has been extremely frustrating.

 

[Natasha]

I couldn't have said it better than you Mary.

Ditto.

 

[gymdog]

Actually I would be fine with it IF they were doing the L3 stuff on days with the L2's -- but they don't. Example - this week - with state this weekend, my DD was with the L2's WATCHING the other L3's practice ROUTINES.

That seems a bit different, but there still may be some reasons for it beyond ratios. Do the coaches say her form is perfect on the level 2 basics, or do they offer correction? Also if you think about it from the perspective of the other level 2s, it is an opportunity to go with the 3s at all. Some level 3 teams only practice two days a week. So 4 days, even if two are basics, is still a lot of practice. If they have a ratio they prefer to maintain, they could have not offered any days with the 3s at all, to not rock the boat. I think they are probably giving you the best opportunity they can.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i hope everyone realizes that L2 & L3 are beginning gymnastics levels. Almost "introduction" to gymnastics. there shouldn't be any drama about 2's & 3's working out with each other. some will be good and some won't. it's no big deal.

 

[LJL07]

i hope everyone realizes that L2 & L3 are beginning gymnastics levels. Almost "introduction" to gymnastics. there shouldn't be any drama about 2's & 3's working out with each other. some will be good and some won't. it's no big deal.

I hate to tell you, but most people down here, incl. the coaches have not gotten that memo. There is in fact a lot of drama about level 2's & 3's working together.

 

[happychaos]

This sort of thing happens ALL the time at DD's gym. I think that nearly every parent on DD's team has, at some point, felt the way you do. If your DD stays in the sport long enough I can almost guarantee you will feel this way again. And again. And again.

Sometimes the decisions about training groups, move-ups, practice schedules seem really unfair. Despite the usual sentiment on Chalk Bucket, I believe that sometimes they truly ARE unfair. Sometimes girls are slighted or overlooked, or the coach is playing favorites. But, in many cases, there is a method to the madness. Or a limit to the number of girls in a level or group. Talking to coaches about these things is rarely productive.

Ultimately, what I am trying to say is that if you just can't handle feeling that your child is being treated unfairly, your DD needs to find another activity FWIW, the longer my DD has been in the sport, the less these things bother me.

 

[iwannacoach]

Consider the notion that these two dear daughters have taken coaching time away from the original L3 group If you have the nerve to ask the original L3 parents they may say these two and are working completely out of turn and should not be allowed to move up until the normal annual or bi-annual move up period.

Really.... your child is the beneficiary of a prudent coach who recognizes when a child needs a greater challenge, and then does all possible in the context of the entire program to make that happen..

 

[MaryA]

This sort of thing happens ALL the time at DD's gym. I think that nearly every parent on DD's team has, at some point, felt the way you do. If your DD stays in the sport long enough I can almost guarantee you will feel this way again. And again. And again.

Sometimes the decisions about training groups, move-ups, practice schedules seem really unfair. Despite the usual sentiment on Chalk Bucket, I believe that sometimes they truly ARE unfair. Sometimes girls are slighted or overlooked, or the coach is playing favorites. But, in many cases, there is a method to the madness. Or a limit to the number of girls in a level or group. Talking to coaches about these things is rarely productive.

Ultimately, what I am trying to say is that if you just can't handle feeling that your child is being treated unfairly, your DD needs to find another activity FWIW, the longer my DD has been in the sport, the less these things bother me.

Yes, all of these things! Even though it sounds to me like the situation at this gym is ok, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't feel the same way the OP does in the same situation. I guess some of it comes down to trusting the gym/coaches. If you believe that your DD is at a good gym with competent coaches who ultimately have the best interest of their gymnasts at heart, then you need to look at each situation with this basic belief system in mind. If you have doubts about the gym you are at or about the people coaching your child, then every decision they make is going to be suspect and it's probably best to look into other gyms.

 

[Flossyduck]

Happychaos and MaryA you both said far more eloquently, what my clumsy post said - the result of typing late at night for me!

Yes to all of what you said.

We are used to school and work situations where this just can't happen. Imagine at work, when one person is promoted over others. There has to be transparency about the decision, processes to follow and communicated properly etc. And at school if two kids were not moved up, despite having passed all their tests and seemingly well behaved. There would need to be documentation of the decision and it would be communicated to parents and a plan to address the 'problem' put in place. That's what we are used to, so the autocratic decision process in gym is tough to understand.
And whereas most decisions are definitely for the best, sometimes unfair decisions are made and sometimes there is no good reason except that's the way they see it. And often decisions are made which are best for the gym, but not necessarily for your child, but that's their prerogative and is also actually a good reason for others.

At the time, it feels horrible, but if I look back I can also see where decisions have perhaps favoured my child over another and the boot has been on the other foot. So you just can't take it personally.

 

[Mom2G&D]

To the OP: This would bother me as a parent as well. You stated that they were MOVED to the Level 3 team (as opposed to being offered an opportunity to train with the Level 3 girls, but compete Level 2). To me, that means they should have the benefits associated with earning the Level 3 status. Especially since, as you have indicated, the girls are scoring well as Level 3 - and better then some of their teammates at the same level. You also indicated that they have the same skills (though maybe not as polished) as the rest of the team. So, why should they be subjected to lesser practice hours with those skills? And, more importantly, why should they be made to practice the Level 2 skills that they will not be competing again? (If I read your responses correctly, they are not working on their Level 3 or 4 skills when they are placed with the Level 2 girls.)

I think that sometimes people are too afraid to ask questions because they are in fear of making a coach or owner mad. However, this is an unusual situation, and you deserve an explanation. In my opinion, doing this to those two girls are forcing them to stand out and be seen as "different" than their teammates - in a negative way. Clearly, the girls are interpreting it that way as well based on the "Level 2.5" comment from your daughter.

I know Levels 2 and 3 are considered beginner levels.... but if you can't get a straight answer from the coaches now, I don't see how it's going to get better for you at the higher levels. This is a communications issue. And, in my experience, those types of issues rarely work themeselves out for the better. However, that said, you need to initiate a conversation with them if you have questions - as they may be unaware you are confused or frustrated. From their perspective, this decision may make perfect sense. And, if you get an explanation, it may make sense to you as well. But, you need to ask.

 

[mobeans]

To answer your questions-yes it would bother me and no it's not normal at or gym. The level 2s only practice w the 2s, same for 3s, 4/5 is together, optionals are together.

My issue would be w the quality difference you are seeing...I'd definitely ask what's up, esp seeing as how it's just these two girls that are still practicing with the 2s.

 

[profmom]

In DD's gym, not every girl who is competing the same level is in the same workout group, nor do all girls who are competing the same level practice the same number of hours. And I am talking about L7 plus. This is not unusual.

Over the years, I have learned that the best way for my DD and DS to move forward is for them to invest fully in working hard in whatever practice group they are in. The rest pretty much takes care of itself. Children take their cues from their parents, so if a parent encourages the feeling that it's unfair or that a child is working on "baby" skills, the child will not get as much out of the practice. I saw this over the summer with some of the boys and moms who were unhappy with their practice group, and guess who is now having more trouble on events? DD and two of her teammates, in contrast, were "held back" in a "lower" practice group with fewer hours, but were encouraged to do their best and work hard. All three of them have fully integrated into that group and are having good falls heading into the L8 season.

It's very important as a parent in this sport to think about how your child will reflect your attitudes and orientation toward what's going on in the gym, and what impact this reflection will have on your child's long-term prospects for advancement and success, if that's something that concerns you. Regardless of the circumstances, and even if you have questions or concerns worth raising, a positive attitude goes a long way. Even in situations where asking questions is appropriate, it's very wise to go into it from the presumption that coaches are acting in the best interest of the team's athletes, including your child. If you do not believe that this presumption is correct, then it's time to change gyms.