WAG The place of loyalty in gymnastics?

[CCGymbug]

My DD was on preteam for almost 2 years 1 day/week and had not progressed for a year. Because it was a small gym and had really good gymnasts my daughter was not given a 2nd day....last summer I had her go to a regular kids camp at a different gym and found it was a better fit for her personality and because it was larger she had the ability to go from 1x/week to now 3. She was placed on the xcel track and has done wonderful. At her last meet she finished 1st AA of 67 girls. Her coaches all remark on what a hard worker she is and how far she has come this year. I will tell you I spoke with the owner/coach of previous gym many times before moving her. Sometimes a gut instinct is best. I thought the other gym did a great job, just not in my daughters case.

 

[MnMgymnast]

We had this thing a couple of years ago when one of the coaches tried to take over ( he was the dad of one of the gymnast) and the owner/head coach said no. He got mad adn left with his DD and made a new gym. Many girls left, some of the gymnast felt betrayed but the coaches were just a little sad. But we all eventually moved on. My point is, most of the time you are fine when it comes to loyalty. At my gym as long as you are honest with them, they respect your decision. They are just a little sad because the like the gymnast.

 

[alongfortheride]

I don't understand the whole "loyalty" thing (the way gyms operate) either.

At the end of the day, gymnastics is a business. I don't feel intense emotional loyalty to my auto mechanic, my doctor, my dentist, my internet provider, my children's schools etc. If they do a good job, I am "loyal" in the sense that I will continue to be a paying customer. If I am unsatisfied (for any number of reasons), I will take my business elsewhere. This is just business-as-usual in a free-market economy. We have choices.

I don't feel "sad" or "disloyal" if I decide to take my business elsewhere. It is what it is, and if you want to keep my business, you need to earn it. I appreciate good business practices, and I will "vote" with my wallet (and "loyalty"). My loyalty, however, is ultimately to my child if the business I am choosing is something they will benefit from (school, dentist, pediatrician, sports team, gym).

So, I repeat, gymnastics is a business like anything else. I pay the coaches. I have the right to expect certain things in return. The gym is not some type of voluntary social club, and the coaches aren't working with my child for free.

If a paying customer decides to leave a gym, the gym should handle it professionally. In any other business, I (as an owner) would want to know why they were leaving and how I could prevent such losses in the future.

Can you imagine if any other business acted like gyms do? For example, what if you had to sneak around to try out a new auto mechanic, and if you do try another one out, the first one "bans" you, and you become "persona non grata"? This is just ridiculous.

This is not to say I don't appreciate good coaches because I do (I appreciate good teachers, good doctors, etc). I try to show the good ones that I appreciate them. I teach my children to show loyalty to their team while they are on it--that's just good sportsmanship.

However, somewhere "loyalty" in gymnastics has definitely crossed a line into something not professional or mature.

 

[sevenatenine2]

I switched gyms for my daughter because she wanted to quit gymnastics. She was NOT interested in the 4 day a week option which was the next step in her gymnastics journey at the other gym. In addition, I work across town and she was late to practice every day, which caused her anxiety and made the drop off stressful.

I actually dropped her from the team, and we tried a tumbling class the next week. She didn't like it.

We took a month off, and during that month, I was very sad her gymnastics journey was coming to an end. I talked to the owners at a cheer gym in town, and decided to get back in to coaching and start a gymnastics team there, on a less intense scale than the old gym.

About that time, my daughter's best friend at the other gym quit. She had mental blocks on her back handsprings.

That was over two years ago, and they still going strong. I occasionally wonder if the old gym thinks I had some kind of master plot when I left, but truthfully, I wasn't upset with them. It was just that their program was no longer working for my daughter.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I don't understand the whole "loyalty" thing (the way gyms operate) either.

At the end of the day, gymnastics is a business. I don't feel intense emotional loyalty to my auto mechanic, my doctor, my dentist, my internet provider, my children's schools etc. If they do a good job, I am "loyal" in the sense that I will continue to be a paying customer. If I am unsatisfied (for any number of reasons), I will take my business elsewhere. This is just business-as-usual in a free-market economy. We have choices.

I don't feel "sad" or "disloyal" if I decide to take my business elsewhere. It is what it is, and if you want to keep my business, you need to earn it. I appreciate good business practices, and I will "vote" with my wallet (and "loyalty"). My loyalty, however, is ultimately to my child if the business I am choosing is something they will benefit from (school, dentist, pediatrician, sports team, gym).

So, I repeat, gymnastics is a business like anything else. I pay the coaches. I have the right to expect certain things in return. The gym is not some type of voluntary social club, and the coaches aren't working with my child for free.

If a paying customer decides to leave a gym, the gym should handle it professionally. In any other business, I (as an owner) would want to know why they were leaving and how I could prevent such losses in the future.

Can you imagine if any other business acted like gyms do? For example, what if you had to sneak around to try out a new auto mechanic, and if you do try another one out, the first one "bans" you, and you become "persona non grata"? This is just ridiculous.

This is not to say I don't appreciate good coaches because I do (I appreciate good teachers, good doctors, etc). I try to show the good ones that I appreciate them. I teach my children to show loyalty to their team while they are on it--that's just good sportsmanship.

However, somewhere "loyalty" in gymnastics has definitely crossed a line into something not professional or mature.

I completely agree with this!!

My dd has been at her gym since she started. She adores her coaches and loves her team. However, the owner has issues. She showed me her crazy side last year but we stayed, for loyalty reasons but mainly because of the coaches.

The fact that the owner makes all kinds of promises that they never follow through with is a big factor. We have been duped into paying the money for dd to participate in TOPS only for it to be stopped before she had the opportunity to test THE PAST 3 years. Also, I find that she belittles in order to make herself be in a position of power. She says negative things about my dd in order for me to feel she's doing us a favor in some way having her on team. In fact, I've had 3 separate coaches tell me how great my dd is and they aren't supposed to talk to parents. That's the other thing, the coaches seem generally apprehensive about talking to the parents at all. Other parents have told me they get no response from the coaches when they don't realize that they can't respond. One coach who was very reputable and had loads of experience, took me aside to tell me some things about my dd. It was overheard by another employee who immediately contacted the owner. This coach was reprimanded and then took me aside again but some place it couldn't be witnessed and told me what happened. She left. I'm sure each of these other coaches will eventually leave too. So, now this leaves us in a situation, do we get out now before the rest bail or do we stay loyal to the coaches (not the gym)? I think in general, bosses who are very controlling don't have happy employees and when employees aren't happy, they leave. When those coaches leave, we would be stuck there if we don't leave now.

And you are so right, if my doctor or dentist or mechanic belittled me or my family, I would feel no loyalty. So why are we expected to stay loyal to a place who has no loyalty to us?? I know right now, if I take her to either of the other gyms in town, word will get back to her. She's made that clear. This is also a place that makes us sign a contract. I tried to delay signing last year and was told my dd would lose her spit if we didn't sign. I wish we could leave but take our favorite coaches with us!!!

 

[rgmom]

I don't understand the whole "loyalty" thing (the way gyms operate) either.

At the end of the day, gymnastics is a business. I don't feel intense emotional loyalty to my auto mechanic, my doctor, my dentist, my internet provider, my children's schools etc. If they do a good job, I am "loyal" in the sense that I will continue to be a paying customer. If I am unsatisfied (for any number of reasons), I will take my business elsewhere. This is just business-as-usual in a free-market economy. We have choices.

I don't feel "sad" or "disloyal" if I decide to take my business elsewhere. It is what it is, and if you want to keep my business, you need to earn it. I appreciate good business practices, and I will "vote" with my wallet (and "loyalty"). My loyalty, however, is ultimately to my child if the business I am choosing is something they will benefit from (school, dentist, pediatrician, sports team, gym).

So, I repeat, gymnastics is a business like anything else. I pay the coaches. I have the right to expect certain things in return. The gym is not some type of voluntary social club, and the coaches aren't working with my child for free.

If a paying customer decides to leave a gym, the gym should handle it professionally. In any other business, I (as an owner) would want to know why they were leaving and how I could prevent such losses in the future.

Can you imagine if any other business acted like gyms do? For example, what if you had to sneak around to try out a new auto mechanic, and if you do try another one out, the first one "bans" you, and you become "persona non grata"? This is just ridiculous.

This is not to say I don't appreciate good coaches because I do (I appreciate good teachers, good doctors, etc). I try to show the good ones that I appreciate them. I teach my children to show loyalty to their team while they are on it--that's just good sportsmanship.

However, somewhere "loyalty" in gymnastics has definitely crossed a line into something not professional or mature.

"alongfortheride", so eloquently stated and spot on.

 

[Midwestmommy]

Hmm, well since we are talking about this again. I trust these people for many hours a week with my child. Of course I have more loyalty to them than to my doctor or dentist or mechanic. They in turn have a greater responsibility toward her, in that I expect them to care about her as a person first and foremost. If I felt they didn't, my loyalty would erode quickly. With that said, this sport just takes some patience and the grass isn't always greener at another gym. Once you find the right fit for your child, let the coaches coach. Come in and watch once in a while. If your child is over the age of 8 and you are in the gym watching them more than a couple hours a week, that is a big red flag that you may be overinvolved with your child's sport. It takes a while to build up that trust to leave your child in their care so many hours a week, so I would think there is some loyalty there toward people putting the effort in for your child if all is going well and they are running a quality program that treats kids great.

Loyalty comes in many shapes and colors. Just last week a mom of a younger Level 3, training Level 4 showed what I would consider to be utterly disloyal behaviour to the gym. How? Her daughter did fine in Level 3, tests well--we know this since the mom brags about it. I'm not there much, so if I have heard it everyone has. I happened to be there watching for a half hour before a nearby appointment. This mom, who is a little cocky and acts like she is "all that" around many of the other parents is not a favorite of mine to begin with. I pretty much avoid her completely. She is just so naive, her child has not had an injury or major challenge yet and it's a long road. My daughter says her daughter is a bit obnoxious and pushy toward other kids, even much older/higher level kids. She will learn. The coaches seem to adore her because she has sass and is aggressive and shows a little promise. The kid will learn, like I said it's a long road. And I think she gets her attitude from her mom.

Anyway, this kid and mom are clearly favorites of the owners, that's OK, they treat all of us pretty well and do a decent job communicating. There were some forms that went out that parents were supposed to fill out about next year. Apparently this mom accidentally indicated she was interested in moving over to Excel. She was exclaiming loudly and laughing the that owner approached her a little miffed about this and said, "no she is not." "Do you want to ruin her gymnastics career?" All innocent by the coach... unintended consequences though...?? Right next to this parent, looking at her and within earshot were two moms of Excel gymnasts. A few more steps away were parents of girls trying out that night for team! Some of whom perhaps would be invited to Excel. All I could think was that mom could have easily just cost the gym a couple of kids on team, if it's 2 at $350 a month that's approximately $8,400 that could go to paying coaches, not to mention some fun new kids in the gym. My guess is this parent will not be loyal down the road, and the owners really have no clue whatsoever how they inadvertently shot themselves in the foot that week by bantering with one of their favorites.

Loyalty by parents also means being able to see the big picture, the gym is a business. My guess is this is a parent who will leave at Level 7 without batting an eye because she is clueless about the big picture. The coaches will be mad and suprised. I however will not be surprised. I 'll report back in 2 or 3 years (just for the record I hope I'm wrong).

 

[lovemygymnast]

Hmm, well since we are talking about this again. I trust these people for many hours a week with my child. Of course I have more loyalty to them than to my doctor or dentist or mechanic. They in turn have a greater responsibility toward her, in that I expect them to care about her as a person first and foremost. If I felt they didn't, my loyalty would erode quickly. With that said, this sport just takes some patience and the grass isn't always greener at another gym. Once you find the right fit for your child, let the coaches coach. Come in and watch once in a while. If your child is over the age of 8 and you are in the gym watching them more than a couple hours a week, that is a big red flag that you may be overinvolved with your child's sport. It takes a while to build up that trust to leave your child in their care so many hours a week, so I would think there is some loyalty there toward people putting the effort in for your child if all is going well and they are running a quality program that treats kids great.

Loyalty comes in many shapes and colors. Just last week a mom of a younger Level 3, training Level 4 showed what I would consider to be utterly disloyal behaviour to the gym. How? Her daughter did fine in Level 3, tests well--we know this since the mom brags about it. I'm not there much, so if I have heard it everyone has. I happened to be there watching for a half hour before a nearby appointment. This mom, who is a little cocky and acts like she is "all that" around many of the other parents is not a favorite of mine to begin with. I pretty much avoid her completely. She is just so naive, her child has not had an injury or major challenge yet and it's a long road. My daughter says her daughter is a bit obnoxious and pushy toward other kids, even much older/higher level kids. She will learn. The coaches seem to adore her because she has sass and is aggressive and shows a little promise. The kid will learn, like I said it's a long road. And I think she gets her attitude from her mom.

Anyway, this kid and mom are clearly favorites of the owners, that's OK, they treat all of us pretty well and do a decent job communicating. There were some forms that went out that parents were supposed to fill out about next year. Apparently this mom accidentally indicated she was interested in moving over to Excel. She was exclaiming loudly and laughing the that owner approached her a little miffed about this and said, "no she is not." "Do you want to ruin her gymnastics career?" All innocent by the coach... unintended consequences though...?? Right next to this parent, looking at her and within earshot were two moms of Excel gymnasts. A few more steps away were parents of girls trying out that night for team! Some of whom perhaps would be invited to Excel. All I could think was that mom could have easily just cost the gym a couple of kids on team, if it's 2 at $350 a month that's approximately $8,400 that could go to paying coaches, not to mention some fun new kids in the gym. My guess is this parent will not be loyal down the road, and the owners really have no clue whatsoever how they inadvertently shot themselves in the foot that week by bantering with one of their favorites.

Loyalty by parents also means being able to see the big picture, the gym is a business. My guess is this is a parent who will leave at Level 7 without batting an eye because she is clueless about the big picture. The coaches will be mad and suprised. I however will not be surprised. I 'll r

 

[lovemygymnast]

Good point! Yes, we do trust our coaches and we are loyal to them. As far as the gym, I'm not sure. My dd is feeling very let down and disappointed. In the long run, it won't matter much, I'm sure. But if this gym owner actually communicated the reasons for stopping or said in advance, we will only continue TOPS if X happens by whatever date, but none of that was said. I can't in good conscious sign another contract with someone who doesn't hold up their end. Will we stay? Possibly. But not with a contract and only if my dd wants to. I don't feel it's lack of loyalty. I feel we paid for something that never happened and not because the coach of my dd didn't do her part. She's ready!

 

[SignHere]

I don't understand the whole "loyalty" thing (the way gyms operate) either.

At the end of the day, gymnastics is a business. I don't feel intense emotional loyalty to my auto mechanic, my doctor, my dentist, my internet provider, my children's schools etc. If they do a good job, I am "loyal" in the sense that I will continue to be a paying customer. If I am unsatisfied (for any number of reasons), I will take my business elsewhere. This is just business-as-usual in a free-market economy. We have choices.

I don't feel "sad" or "disloyal" if I decide to take my business elsewhere. It is what it is, and if you want to keep my business, you need to earn it. I appreciate good business practices, and I will "vote" with my wallet (and "loyalty"). My loyalty, however, is ultimately to my child if the business I am choosing is something they will benefit from (school, dentist, pediatrician, sports team, gym).

So, I repeat, gymnastics is a business like anything else. I pay the coaches. I have the right to expect certain things in return. The gym is not some type of voluntary social club, and the coaches aren't working with my child for free.

If a paying customer decides to leave a gym, the gym should handle it professionally. In any other business, I (as an owner) would want to know why they were leaving and how I could prevent such losses in the future.

Can you imagine if any other business acted like gyms do? For example, what if you had to sneak around to try out a new auto mechanic, and if you do try another one out, the first one "bans" you, and you become "persona non grata"? This is just ridiculous.

This is not to say I don't appreciate good coaches because I do (I appreciate good teachers, good doctors, etc). I try to show the good ones that I appreciate them. I teach my children to show loyalty to their team while they are on it--that's just good sportsmanship.

However, somewhere "loyalty" in gymnastics has definitely crossed a line into something not professional or mature.

I agree 1000% . 2 seasons ago, my DD had a very tough year. I decided to look at another gym. After the gym try out, DD wanted to stay at her current gym, but there were some things about the new gym that We both really liked ( things totally not within HC or GOs control). I Was upfront with the Coach, told her I had taken DD to look at another gym, but there were really some things she liked better about the other gym ( one big factor was that the team was much younger. At the time, DD was 10 and practicing with girls mostly 3 yrs older than her. She was just very unhappy). I feel the difference between 10 and 13 is HUGE.

I told the coach that, while we wanted to stay, I was still considering a move based on this age factor, and I might take DD to try out at another gym.

Well, I was accused of " betraying" the gym and all sorts of personally hurtful things were said to me. I was even accused of being a bad mother by the coaches.

 

[alongfortheride]

the coaches seem generally apprehensive about talking to the parents at all.

Unprofessional. How would we feel if our child's teachers did not communicate with us? Or our doctors? Or pediatricians?

I trust these people for many hours a week with my child. Of course I have more loyalty to them than to my doctor or dentist or mechanic. They in turn have a greater responsibility toward her, in that I expect them to care about her as a person first and foremost.

True, they are with our children for many hours a week. So are my childrens' school teachers. If for some reason, I am unsatisfied with the teachers' behavior or the education they are receiving, I can choose a different educational option. If I tour another school, our current school isn't going to ban my kids.

Quite honestly, if the coaches/gym owners really care about our children they will want what is best for the child and family--even if it's not what the coaches or gym owners would prefer.

this kid and mom are clearly favorites of the owners,

Unprofessional. Internal favoritism or preferring one child over another may be a part of human nature, but a professional and mature individual refuses to act on it and should treat all of the children (or customers) the same. Would we put up with such blatant favoritism anywhere else?

I was accused of " betraying" the gym and all sorts of personally hurtful things were said to me. I was even accused of being a bad mother by the coaches.

Unprofessional and verbal abuse. Should.not.happen.EVER

 

[Ali'sMom]

I agree 1000% . 2 seasons ago, my DD had a very tough year. I decided to look at another gym. After the gym try out, DD wanted to stay at her current gym, but there were some things about the new gym that We both really liked ( things totally not within HC or GOs control). I Was upfront with the Coach, told her I had taken DD to look at another gym, but there were really some things she liked better about the other gym ( one big factor was that the team was much younger. At the time, DD was 10 and practicing with girls mostly 3 yrs older than her. She was just very unhappy). I feel the difference between 10 and 13 is HUGE.

I told the coach that, while we wanted to stay, I was still considering a move based on this age factor, and I might take DD to try out at another gym.

Well, I was accused of " betraying" the gym and all sorts of personally hurtful things were said to me. I was even accused of being a bad mother by the coaches.

Did you stay or did you go??

 

[Midwestmommy]

iUnprofessional. Internal favoritism or preferring one child over another may be a part of human nature, but a professional and mature individual refuses to act on it and should treat all of the children (or customers) the same. Would we put up with such blatant favoritism anywhere else?

Well, it is sort of pervasive in sports and everywhere actually. So it takes the right culture in a business to understand how damaging it is, and to keep a lid on it. It's a tricky balance. Competitiveness is good in athletes, but favoritism where it appears they only care about certain kids, or where some kids are favored just because you like them, even if they haven't earned it in the gym, or letting the whole private lesson thing create a bunch of drama (probably the single most volatile source of "rub" between competition team parents---owners, are you aware of that?)....

From a parent of a not-headed-for-elite but loves-gymnastics kid.... If think you are the parent of a really talented gymnast, or are just so excited you are tempted to just talk and talk about Suzie's gymnastics: Please keep in mind in the viewing area:

Over there is the mom who just paid a huge deductible for some ortho visits and testing. Her daughter is frustrated and crabby, she is feeling broken-hearted for her kid, doubting herself about whether letting her kid choose this sport was the right thing. See that coffee cup from home that was her fav latte last month--the latte is gone because now for next few months there will be no trips to the coffee shop, no new wedge sandals for the summer, becsuse the budget just got tight. She is feeling just generally bummed and down and looking foward to some friendship with other parents in the viewing area after she put in a grueling 10 hour day at work, and just wants some fun coversation.

Over there is the parent of kid trying out. You are, whether you like it or not, representing the gym in the viewing area because the gym can't pay someone to do PR there.

Over there is the dad of a rec kid who tried out for team and didn't make it this year. She payed for two weekly rec classes, her daughter is conditioning like crazy at home, and dad is frustrated that his kid is not being given a chance to join the competitive track. Is it too late, he wonders? When team mom complains, he think gee at least you have the privilege of something to complain about.

Over there are two rec moms whose kids are cheerleaders and they are just here to have fun, and they think you are looney for giving up so much of your family time. Their kids are college-bound too just like yours and will likely be done with gymnastics at the same time as your kid, give or take a couple years. Maybe one of them is hiring a new position at their company that is just the job your brother is searching for after just getting out of the military. You won't ever find out because you didn't talk to them.

OK to you team parent of the next big thing:
Be grateful. Be humble. Be kind. Sometimes just be quiet (you aren't learning anything if you are talking). If you are at the right gym, be loyal to the gym and the owners who were nuts enough to open up this business.

 

[gymdog]

I don't understand the whole "loyalty" thing (the way gyms operate) either.

At the end of the day, gymnastics is a business. I don't feel intense emotional loyalty to my auto mechanic, my doctor, my dentist, my internet provider, my children's schools etc. If they do a good job, I am "loyal" in the sense that I will continue to be a paying customer. If I am unsatisfied (for any number of reasons), I will take my business elsewhere. This is just business-as-usual in a free-market economy. We have choices.

I don't feel "sad" or "disloyal" if I decide to take my business elsewhere. It is what it is, and if you want to keep my business, you need to earn it. I appreciate good business practices, and I will "vote" with my wallet (and "loyalty"). My loyalty, however, is ultimately to my child if the business I am choosing is something they will benefit from (school, dentist, pediatrician, sports team, gym).

So, I repeat, gymnastics is a business like anything else. I pay the coaches. I have the right to expect certain things in return. The gym is not some type of voluntary social club, and the coaches aren't working with my child for free.

If a paying customer decides to leave a gym, the gym should handle it professionally. In any other business, I (as an owner) would want to know why they were leaving and how I could prevent such losses in the future.

Can you imagine if any other business acted like gyms do? For example, what if you had to sneak around to try out a new auto mechanic, and if you do try another one out, the first one "bans" you, and you become "persona non grata"? This is just ridiculous.

This is not to say I don't appreciate good coaches because I do (I appreciate good teachers, good doctors, etc). I try to show the good ones that I appreciate them. I teach my children to show loyalty to their team while they are on it--that's just good sportsmanship.

However, somewhere "loyalty" in gymnastics has definitely crossed a line into something not professional or mature.

Do you really think your relationship with your auto mechanic is the same as the relationship between the coach and athlete? I definitely think that all situations should be handled professionally and I would never hold it against a child upon seeing them in the future, BUT surely you can see why there are some emotions involved. But, that's life. I agree some people behave in simply unacceptable ways but not sure that's the majority.

Anyway, the issue with bringing your kids to other gyms while still enrolled in the first gym is that it is distracting and disruptive to your child's training to be coached by multiple people. We never ban people if we hear that they just emailed or called someone else (and we always hear, who cares), but at some point we need to ask them to get on board or abandon ship. It's just not gonna work to use one team as a waiting room while working out with other coaches. At our gym, we simply don't allow this, and have policies about when and how we will accept transfers. Most of the other gyms do the same thing. A few don't, and you can decide for yourself whether they are really more professional or not or what their motivation is.

Ultimately, these policies are best for the coaches and athletes because gymnastics is a very complicated sport and it is important for the athlete to be able to understand the coach without getting confused by other instructions. Also, it is not fair to our current athletes for us to be constantly evaluating other athletes who call. We get calls during season, say sorry, then we notice ultimately those people remain at their gym despite the fact that after season most gyms would accept transfers so long as there wasn't extreme problems at the other gym like refusing to pay or causing a ruckus. So I can only assume they worked it out at their gym and that IS for the best. For us (and this goes not just for all gyms but the others in the area) it would not be in anyone best interest to be constantly allowing tryouts and evaluations when most likely the problem will be worked out and the child won't change teams.

When you are the one that is calling, you only see one side. You don't realize how many people call big gyms during the season. We cannot evaluate a new child each week at the expense of our customers who have been with us for years. They have to remain our focus. As far as telling the other gym, it's is mostly to make sure there are no major issues with payment or things like that, and also to let them know because again it is disruptive when people are trying to get tryouts at different gyms while still practicing at the current one.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

I think coaches are a much bigger part of our children's life and their development then that of a mechanic or even a doctor. It is much, much more. This fact however makes me even less likely to tolerate nonsense. My DD is my first priority, not the gym. If coaches, a gyms atmosphere or other factors become an emotionally unhealthy place for my child to be then you bet she isn't staying. Yes there are likely favorites most places and yes there are times my daughter is difficult and frustrating but the way her current coach handles it is appropriate and with the over development of the child and gymnast in mind. Is it always perfect? Absolutely not, are there changes I would love to see? Certainly. BUT it is a far cry from the gym she was at years ago. A gym where favorites were obvious to anyone that entered the gym, where most of the coaches seemed to focus more on socializing with parents and each other and gossiping about gymnasts and parents rather than coaching. Yes many from that gym deemed me the "crazy parent" who left and one coach even had conversations with my DDs old teammates immediately after she left telling them "we don't talk to traders" in reference to my daughter who was 9 at the time. So loyal to that gym...absolutely not!

For DD, no matter how this gymnastics journey ends, we feel like it really began when a gym change was made. It would have been an exceedingly bad decision had we stayed. So however this plays out, in front of her old team (as said in an earlier post) or not, it was the best decision we could have made.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Auto mechanic, dentist???? Clearly some here have no idea what is involved with coaching gymnastics and the time and effort we put into kids. Then throw in the attachment factor that we have with your kids and you have what is termed as, "a smack in the face" and of course the "your not good enough, so we are going elsewhere" effect.... Well,,,, thats pretty much it, you can't argue with feelings,, and well,,, we have them! I guess a great analogy would be if your kids just up and left and got new parents! Pretty darn close!
The bottom line is after your choice is made, it's made,,, but do it with a little more dignity than ,,, just switching mechanics...
I would like to update my previous post on the 2 state champions that left my Gym plus one more left after my post, that all went to the same gym down the street . Those kids talented kids never made it past Level 8 and were last seen at a meet this year,,, in the stands,,, cheering for their old teammates (our kids who are now L9 and L10's),, It was kind of sad, because they could have made it as well and we did our best to try and educate the parents. But these parents yanked their kids because they didn't get what they wanted, which was a different group (like one of the posters said, it's a business and if I don't get what I want I leave)... needless to say those groups that they wanted out, have done pretty good! So do your homework people and ..... Be careful what you wish for.

 

[alongfortheride]

I have never switched gyms to this point, and would not switch gyms without very good reasons. Certainly it wouldn't be a light decision. It would not be because I thought "you're not good enough", (I realize the grass is not always greener) but because I thought something else was better for my child. The auto mechanic and dentist point was to illustrate that the gym IS still a business when all is said and done.

To give another example, teachers are with my children more hours a day than coaches, and if I felt my child wasn't getting the education he/she deserved, I wouldn't hesitate to look elsewhere. It would be about what was best for my child. And yes, I would do it tactfully and graciously. And a switch that was best for my child would not mean I did not appreciate all that the previous teacher had done. But loyalty to my child comes first.

 

[Natasha]

A bit surprised to see this thread resurrected…I had almost forgotten how hard that summer was 2 seasons ago… reading coachP's and GymDogs response about the importance of the relationship between coach and gymnast reinforced how glad I am that we made the move. My dd has now been with head coach/owner at new gym for 2 seasons and she has a great relationship with him. He is her only coach. At old gym, the owner only coaches sporadically and the coach who was able to coach upper optionals (who had coached her PT for 3 years) quit coaching a month after we left. So there really was not a coach there for us to be loyal towards…just a business. In my dd's 5 years on team she had well over a dozen coaches. Since leaving old gym, dd became state champion at L8 and is going to L9 regionals next week, at old gym she was consistently middle of the pack. Since the owner is also the head coach, he makes decisions based on what will benefit the team and the training needed as he is personally invested in the success of the team.
I am so glad I decided my first loyalty was to my daughter. I am also glad that my dd is at a gym where I trust the HeadCoach/owner enough to also give him my loyalty.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

A

I have never switched gyms to this point, and would not switch gyms without very good reasons. Certainly it wouldn't be a light decision. It would not be because I thought "you're not good enough", (I realize the grass is not always greener) but because I thought something else was better for my child. The auto mechanic and dentist point was to illustrate that the gym IS still a business when all is said and done.

To give another example, teachers are with my children more hours a day than coaches, and if I felt my child wasn't getting the education he/she deserved, I wouldn't hesitate to look elsewhere. It would be about what was best for my child. And yes, I would do it tactfully and graciously. And a switch that was best for my child would not mean I did not appreciate all that the previous teacher had done. But loyalty to my child comes first.

actually teachers do not spend anywhere near the time with a child, compared to a coach. Not even in the same ball park. We spend several years and even a decade with a child... And the time spent is way more personal. The only exception would be a very small town that has the same teacher from 1st grade to 10th, and in that case I would speculate that a teacher of that caliber would become equally attached and offended if a parent pulled then. Just making a general statement/analogy. But you get the picture. You said you didn't get it so I am trying to somewhat explain our position. Hope that makes sense.

 

[mommyof1]

If a gym wants its customers to be loyal, it needs to offer some loyalty in return. Don't make me sign a "contract" for my daughter to be trained a certain number of hours per week at a certain level, fail to deliver the amount or level of training that YOU told me was appropriate for my child, and then tell me I am disloyal for moving her to a gym where they actually hold the practices that I have paid for.

(By the way, I do feel some sense of loyalty to the new gym--because they are actually training my daughter.)